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New Here. At my wits end
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<blockquote data-quote="alg" data-source="post: 407638" data-attributes="member: 11187"><p>Hello, GOOD mom!</p><p></p><p>First of all, don't listen to any moron who tells you that you're just not parenting well enough. From what I read, you're doing everything you can to adjust to the unique needs of your little "Monkey" (Also what we call my daughter, by the way!!).</p><p></p><p>Also, if you were simply bad parents, your older daughter would be just as much of a challenge as Monkey is. So stop blaming yourselves. I know, I know... easier said than done. But I know what you're going through, because so am I.</p><p></p><p>Our daughter (3 yrs, 3 mo) displays the same behaviors you described when talking about Monkey. Every one.</p><p></p><p>For a long time, I was pretty much the sole caregiver to our daughter. I knew there was a problem, but I couldn't get anyone (even those closest to me) to listen. I got a lot of well-meaning, but dismissive advice and more than my share of thinly-veiled criticism and blame. </p><p></p><p>As if I hadn't tried everything already. As if I was just a lazy, inattentive parent. As if everybody was going through what I was going through -- only I was the big whiner about it.</p><p>Well, last week we finally got a diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>My daughter registers on the autism scale AND was diagnosed with Disruptive Behavioral Disorder. A legitimate condition that is NOT caused by "bad" parenting.</p><p></p><p>(There are two types of DBD, one more severe than the other. We do not yet know into which category our daughter falls.)</p><p></p><p>It's entirely possible that your Monkey might have a similar disorder.</p><p></p><p>I would strongly recommend that you contact your local Children's Hospital for a referral to a behavioral specialist.</p><p></p><p>You don't have to be rich or have great insurance. We're on welfare right now and we still got all the testing/services our daughter needs through Children's Hospital & their referrals.</p><p>Good luck. You're doing better than you think. And you're not alone <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="alg, post: 407638, member: 11187"] Hello, GOOD mom! First of all, don't listen to any moron who tells you that you're just not parenting well enough. From what I read, you're doing everything you can to adjust to the unique needs of your little "Monkey" (Also what we call my daughter, by the way!!). Also, if you were simply bad parents, your older daughter would be just as much of a challenge as Monkey is. So stop blaming yourselves. I know, I know... easier said than done. But I know what you're going through, because so am I. Our daughter (3 yrs, 3 mo) displays the same behaviors you described when talking about Monkey. Every one. For a long time, I was pretty much the sole caregiver to our daughter. I knew there was a problem, but I couldn't get anyone (even those closest to me) to listen. I got a lot of well-meaning, but dismissive advice and more than my share of thinly-veiled criticism and blame. As if I hadn't tried everything already. As if I was just a lazy, inattentive parent. As if everybody was going through what I was going through -- only I was the big whiner about it. Well, last week we finally got a diagnosis. My daughter registers on the autism scale AND was diagnosed with Disruptive Behavioral Disorder. A legitimate condition that is NOT caused by "bad" parenting. (There are two types of DBD, one more severe than the other. We do not yet know into which category our daughter falls.) It's entirely possible that your Monkey might have a similar disorder. I would strongly recommend that you contact your local Children's Hospital for a referral to a behavioral specialist. You don't have to be rich or have great insurance. We're on welfare right now and we still got all the testing/services our daughter needs through Children's Hospital & their referrals. Good luck. You're doing better than you think. And you're not alone :) [/QUOTE]
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