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New here but can now see I'm not alone .....
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 563825" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>It so often seems to be 19 year old sons that bring people here. In my country we have military obligation and most of our 19 year old sons are serving that. I think that saves many of us from so many heart breaks. Failure to launch combined with growing too big to live under parents roof on the other hand and still being too immature to handle that seems to be a bad combination. I'm sorry you are having a tough time and that you had to find us. You are definitely not alone in this. </p><p></p><p>But what you tell us about your son amkes it clear he has lots of strengths too. There is a good chance that ten years from now you can look back and think this just your son having some growing pains and struggling a little to establish himself. I certainly do hope it turns like that. That of course doesn't help much now, when he is behaving in unacceptable manner. You really have to put some boundaries down, if not for the other reasons but for your younger kids. But of course also for you and your oldest. With his strengths he is likely to do just well even if you have to kick him out. He has skills and the necessity is a great motivator.</p><p></p><p>To be honest I'm surprised that him working under his dad worked that long. That really is almost a no-win situation when kid is in that age. he may do much better in same jobs under someone he doesn't know. i can't even imagine my sons could work under my husband, not even my easy child. Even building a doghouse together this summer was a major struggle to all three of them and someone could had easily suspected that world war 3 was just about to begin from our yard.</p><p></p><p>Recoveringenabler wrote (once again) an excellent post. Do read that carefully.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 563825, member: 14557"] It so often seems to be 19 year old sons that bring people here. In my country we have military obligation and most of our 19 year old sons are serving that. I think that saves many of us from so many heart breaks. Failure to launch combined with growing too big to live under parents roof on the other hand and still being too immature to handle that seems to be a bad combination. I'm sorry you are having a tough time and that you had to find us. You are definitely not alone in this. But what you tell us about your son amkes it clear he has lots of strengths too. There is a good chance that ten years from now you can look back and think this just your son having some growing pains and struggling a little to establish himself. I certainly do hope it turns like that. That of course doesn't help much now, when he is behaving in unacceptable manner. You really have to put some boundaries down, if not for the other reasons but for your younger kids. But of course also for you and your oldest. With his strengths he is likely to do just well even if you have to kick him out. He has skills and the necessity is a great motivator. To be honest I'm surprised that him working under his dad worked that long. That really is almost a no-win situation when kid is in that age. he may do much better in same jobs under someone he doesn't know. i can't even imagine my sons could work under my husband, not even my easy child. Even building a doghouse together this summer was a major struggle to all three of them and someone could had easily suspected that world war 3 was just about to begin from our yard. Recoveringenabler wrote (once again) an excellent post. Do read that carefully. [/QUOTE]
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