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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 66799" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>OK, I've got a few more minutes now. You will want to add something to your list to describe how he gets along with peers. </p><p></p><p>It would be good for you at this time to step back on expectations/demands until you have a thorough grasp on what is going on. Don't make big deals of small things. Don't force foods on him that he doesn't like--if sensory is at the root of this it can make things worse for him. Offer foods that he likes at times when he is most receptive to eating, not necessarily at family meal times when food odors and sights can be very offensive. Tune in to what food odors you're introducing in the house if they are causing him problems. This area can really escalate out of control rapidly (been there, done that), especially at times of high stress. If bumps in foods are becoming problems, strain it or pureee it. When I don't buy pulp free orange juice I wind up sending difficult child's through the tea strainer first to take the pulp out. </p><p></p><p>His concern of not wanting to use stuff out of fear of losing them sounds like it is anxiety based. Try and find ways that will eleviate this so he doesn't have this constantly hanging over his head. For example, I always buy two school lunch bags for my kiddo at the beginning of the year so if one gets lost or ruined or left at school we have a back up.</p><p></p><p>Look for substitutes in the areas that frustrate him. If shoes are a problem, go to velco or slip on tennis shoes. My difficult child can tie shoes but it's such a slow and frustrating process that he prefers the ease of the slip ons. I just bought him some Merril's that are slip ons made of tennis shoe fabric for school. Paying attention to small details in clothing (ie jacket and backpack closures) can make big differences in every day life. I also take steps like buying all of the same color and style of socks so he only has to get used to one for the school year. </p><p></p><p>Parenting in this way takes a lot of time and effort but many of us have found that the frustrations are fewer and better progress can be made if you take a preventative approach. A child who is assaulted all day long with things that go against his grain: odors, textures, authority--is more apt to be in high defiance mode all of the time. Try and ease that for him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 66799, member: 701"] OK, I've got a few more minutes now. You will want to add something to your list to describe how he gets along with peers. It would be good for you at this time to step back on expectations/demands until you have a thorough grasp on what is going on. Don't make big deals of small things. Don't force foods on him that he doesn't like--if sensory is at the root of this it can make things worse for him. Offer foods that he likes at times when he is most receptive to eating, not necessarily at family meal times when food odors and sights can be very offensive. Tune in to what food odors you're introducing in the house if they are causing him problems. This area can really escalate out of control rapidly (been there, done that), especially at times of high stress. If bumps in foods are becoming problems, strain it or pureee it. When I don't buy pulp free orange juice I wind up sending difficult child's through the tea strainer first to take the pulp out. His concern of not wanting to use stuff out of fear of losing them sounds like it is anxiety based. Try and find ways that will eleviate this so he doesn't have this constantly hanging over his head. For example, I always buy two school lunch bags for my kiddo at the beginning of the year so if one gets lost or ruined or left at school we have a back up. Look for substitutes in the areas that frustrate him. If shoes are a problem, go to velco or slip on tennis shoes. My difficult child can tie shoes but it's such a slow and frustrating process that he prefers the ease of the slip ons. I just bought him some Merril's that are slip ons made of tennis shoe fabric for school. Paying attention to small details in clothing (ie jacket and backpack closures) can make big differences in every day life. I also take steps like buying all of the same color and style of socks so he only has to get used to one for the school year. Parenting in this way takes a lot of time and effort but many of us have found that the frustrations are fewer and better progress can be made if you take a preventative approach. A child who is assaulted all day long with things that go against his grain: odors, textures, authority--is more apt to be in high defiance mode all of the time. Try and ease that for him. [/QUOTE]
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