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New Here - I'm losing my 13-year old to pot
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<blockquote data-quote="claireisma" data-source="post: 354998"><p>This is an amazing place. I'm so glad I landed here. Thank you, all of you. I had a rude awakening this past weekend. My 15-year old daughter was in an auto accident Saturday night that, when you look at the car and look at the tree they took out and look at the boulder that saved them from going off the cliff, could have taken her from us. There was no alcohol or drugs involved. All three kids survived. My daughter is the worst injured, suffering a broken back in three places, no neurological issues. Getting that phone call at 2:30 in the morning and making the long drive to the hospital changed my life. My BEP came to see her in the hospital. He came home that night and he was trying to call all the shots. I told him that I wanted to get to a place of love between us even if it meant he wasn't ready to come home because the thought of him being in a car acccident and us not being on loving terms was haunting to me. He blamed me for bad blood between his sister and her dad and he was rude and mean to me (I'm here to see EMP not you so leave me alone, I'm bringing druggie friend over tomorrow to see EMP). When I called him on his behavior, told him his druggie friend was not welcome here, he said he thought he should go "home" to dad's. I said I thought that was a good idea and held the door open for him. He came back again last night. He picked a fight with his sister and said she didn't really have a broken back (she gets her waist to neck brace tomorrow) and then he proceeded to bait me with tauntings from things his dad is filling his head with - lies about court documents etc. I told him to go outside, away from his sister who is in sooo much pain. He baited me and I resisted and told him I would address his questions in counseling with him. When he started smacking my car, I pushed his things outside and closed the garage. Today I spoke with minor's counsel. I learned of some of the lies my son has been telling - Like how his brother and sister are against him now and how I blocked him from leaving a room at school where I tried to meet with him. But the school principal was there and it didn't happen and his brother and sister have been working with him even as they tire of him. His dad screamed obscenities at me this morning about how I "fd him up" last night. You know, it's been calm and peaceful since he went to his dad's. </p><p> </p><p>Checking in here tonight and reading what all of you have said gives me the strength to call this thing. This boy, for what ever reason, even if it's because his dad and I got divorced and it's been high conflict, is wrong, for what he is doing right now to this family. I have to quit feeling sorry for him and call him on being the insensitive, mean-spirited little punk that he is being. He knows what he's doing! It's all eyes centered on him - even after his sister had a near fatal accident. My son may in fact be getting fed a line of **** from his dad, but he's smart and he has always been getting fed a line of **** from his dad, and he knows better. Enough!</p><p> </p><p>My older boy needs a little attention as he's going to be an Eagle Scout soon and graduate from high school. My daughter needs our home to be calm and peaceful in her recovery. And yes, you are right, I am in need of, and worthy of, some calm and peace. </p><p> </p><p>So, with support from friends, and from the good folks here, I'm going to hold my ground and tend the needs of, and reward the strong character of the two who are doing the right thing. I'm going to focus on creating a peaceful loving home for those of us who wish to be here. Can't say I won't waffle from time to time, but damn I'm tired of the drama and man, I'd like to make a lasting change instead of just taking a break knowing it's right around the corner.</p><p> </p><p>So thank you again for the good you do ... I look forward to the day when enough is behind us that I am able to offer the words of wisdom.</p><p> </p><p>Claire</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="claireisma, post: 354998"] This is an amazing place. I'm so glad I landed here. Thank you, all of you. I had a rude awakening this past weekend. My 15-year old daughter was in an auto accident Saturday night that, when you look at the car and look at the tree they took out and look at the boulder that saved them from going off the cliff, could have taken her from us. There was no alcohol or drugs involved. All three kids survived. My daughter is the worst injured, suffering a broken back in three places, no neurological issues. Getting that phone call at 2:30 in the morning and making the long drive to the hospital changed my life. My BEP came to see her in the hospital. He came home that night and he was trying to call all the shots. I told him that I wanted to get to a place of love between us even if it meant he wasn't ready to come home because the thought of him being in a car acccident and us not being on loving terms was haunting to me. He blamed me for bad blood between his sister and her dad and he was rude and mean to me (I'm here to see EMP not you so leave me alone, I'm bringing druggie friend over tomorrow to see EMP). When I called him on his behavior, told him his druggie friend was not welcome here, he said he thought he should go "home" to dad's. I said I thought that was a good idea and held the door open for him. He came back again last night. He picked a fight with his sister and said she didn't really have a broken back (she gets her waist to neck brace tomorrow) and then he proceeded to bait me with tauntings from things his dad is filling his head with - lies about court documents etc. I told him to go outside, away from his sister who is in sooo much pain. He baited me and I resisted and told him I would address his questions in counseling with him. When he started smacking my car, I pushed his things outside and closed the garage. Today I spoke with minor's counsel. I learned of some of the lies my son has been telling - Like how his brother and sister are against him now and how I blocked him from leaving a room at school where I tried to meet with him. But the school principal was there and it didn't happen and his brother and sister have been working with him even as they tire of him. His dad screamed obscenities at me this morning about how I "fd him up" last night. You know, it's been calm and peaceful since he went to his dad's. Checking in here tonight and reading what all of you have said gives me the strength to call this thing. This boy, for what ever reason, even if it's because his dad and I got divorced and it's been high conflict, is wrong, for what he is doing right now to this family. I have to quit feeling sorry for him and call him on being the insensitive, mean-spirited little punk that he is being. He knows what he's doing! It's all eyes centered on him - even after his sister had a near fatal accident. My son may in fact be getting fed a line of **** from his dad, but he's smart and he has always been getting fed a line of **** from his dad, and he knows better. Enough! My older boy needs a little attention as he's going to be an Eagle Scout soon and graduate from high school. My daughter needs our home to be calm and peaceful in her recovery. And yes, you are right, I am in need of, and worthy of, some calm and peace. So, with support from friends, and from the good folks here, I'm going to hold my ground and tend the needs of, and reward the strong character of the two who are doing the right thing. I'm going to focus on creating a peaceful loving home for those of us who wish to be here. Can't say I won't waffle from time to time, but damn I'm tired of the drama and man, I'd like to make a lasting change instead of just taking a break knowing it's right around the corner. So thank you again for the good you do ... I look forward to the day when enough is behind us that I am able to offer the words of wisdom. Claire [/QUOTE]
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