New here, problems with my son

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Holly10011, Jan 10, 2018.

  1. Holly10011

    Holly10011 New Member

    This posting board has me very confused-Unsure where to follow-up. Guess Ill just try here. Sons birthday came and in a unexpected twist he called me . (must have been wondering why he'd not heard from mom on his birthday) I was polite but far from warm and loving the way I d been in past. I said happy Birthday here is your father- he asked why I was so short and not wanting to speak with him . REALLY ? Do you not recall that only a few weeks back your decided to tell me over Thanksgiving dinner that you dont like me ? I said that I would explain in an email . He said ok . Later I sent him the following " Recently my feelings have been very hurt and as a result I am focusing on trying to heal" I decided against going into detail about how much he hurt my feelings. He has such a swelled head that I dont even know if he is aware that I'm referring to him. Since, I have not heard one word . Nada. I have come to realize that he very well might be just fine with cutting us out 100%. It seemed that he was open to communication after he returned to SF but after some thought I concluded that I did not want to return to our normal email and occasional phone call as if nothing was wrong . I do not feel I want to allow him to spit on me with-o being challenged. It is just so difficult for me to comprehend HOW and or WHY this drastic change? I guess I should stop speculating on the unknown. Have been thinking of sending a short bland email just to start the ball rolling but then I ask myself FOR WHAT ? To hope to see him for 3 days next December and shake in m y boots hoping that he is not abusive............................
     
  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Heal your heart and be good to yourself.

    I think it is wise for you not to reach out. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

    It is very hurtful when they are so unaware or simply don’t care enough to see how much they hurt us.

    :flower:
     
  3. Holly10011

    Holly10011 New Member

    He is my only child as well. I think my son is both - Unaware and does not care. It has been all about him ONLY for the past 3 years
    I'm sorry for what you are going through........................Detaching sounds like a healthy choice for both of us.
     
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