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General Parenting
new here...sad, tired, frustrated...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 338742" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi, Heather. I truly, truly, truly don't think you are bad parent. Some kids are born wired differently and they can be very hard to parent. Please don't be hard on yourself. Is her bio. father in the picture? If not, he still is...she has 50% of his genes and, if he was troubled, she may have inherited something. I have a few questions to ask that will help us help you.</p><p></p><p>1/Are there any psychiatric problems on either side of her family genetic tree, including her biological father's family and your family and anyone related to either of you genetically. Are there issues of substance abuse on either side? Substance abuse can be a red flag that the abuser has some disorder...a mood disorder or Aspergers or other things.</p><p></p><p>2/How were your daughter's early milestones? Did she walk and talk on time? Did she make (and does she still make) good eye contact with her peers and with you? Will she willingly look people in the eyes? Did she ever have a speech delay or a problem having a give-and-take conversation. On the flip side, did she read early, have an early interest in letters and numbers, have a GREAT rote memory, and/or sound like a "little profressor when she spoke?" Does she now? Does she understand how to socialize with her same age peers? Does she monologue at them? Does she have any specific interest that is unusual to be so focused on? Does she ever seem as if she is in her own world and, then, at other times (mostly when she is comfortable) seem like she is just fine, puzzling you? </p><p></p><p>Many of us on this site feel that a neuropsychologist is the best diagnostician. You may want to take her to see one before the terrible teens kick in. They do a different sort of testing that can last 6-10 hours and they often catch things that therapists and even psychiatrists tend to miss. I highly recommend seeing a good one. They can be found at university hospitals. in my opinion they are worth the trip.</p><p></p><p>I hope you like the site. Sorry you had to come. Other people will jump in and give their advice. You may want to do a signature like the one I have below. How does your hub deal with your daughter? Does he understand her? Does she have a good relationship with him? Does he have any kids?</p><p></p><p>You may want to hold off on that baby until you know more about your daughter. I agree with you. It's best to wait. You're still pretty young.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 338742, member: 1550"] Hi, Heather. I truly, truly, truly don't think you are bad parent. Some kids are born wired differently and they can be very hard to parent. Please don't be hard on yourself. Is her bio. father in the picture? If not, he still is...she has 50% of his genes and, if he was troubled, she may have inherited something. I have a few questions to ask that will help us help you. 1/Are there any psychiatric problems on either side of her family genetic tree, including her biological father's family and your family and anyone related to either of you genetically. Are there issues of substance abuse on either side? Substance abuse can be a red flag that the abuser has some disorder...a mood disorder or Aspergers or other things. 2/How were your daughter's early milestones? Did she walk and talk on time? Did she make (and does she still make) good eye contact with her peers and with you? Will she willingly look people in the eyes? Did she ever have a speech delay or a problem having a give-and-take conversation. On the flip side, did she read early, have an early interest in letters and numbers, have a GREAT rote memory, and/or sound like a "little profressor when she spoke?" Does she now? Does she understand how to socialize with her same age peers? Does she monologue at them? Does she have any specific interest that is unusual to be so focused on? Does she ever seem as if she is in her own world and, then, at other times (mostly when she is comfortable) seem like she is just fine, puzzling you? Many of us on this site feel that a neuropsychologist is the best diagnostician. You may want to take her to see one before the terrible teens kick in. They do a different sort of testing that can last 6-10 hours and they often catch things that therapists and even psychiatrists tend to miss. I highly recommend seeing a good one. They can be found at university hospitals. in my opinion they are worth the trip. I hope you like the site. Sorry you had to come. Other people will jump in and give their advice. You may want to do a signature like the one I have below. How does your hub deal with your daughter? Does he understand her? Does she have a good relationship with him? Does he have any kids? You may want to hold off on that baby until you know more about your daughter. I agree with you. It's best to wait. You're still pretty young. [/QUOTE]
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