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New here -- scared and sad
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<blockquote data-quote="teatime" data-source="post: 530543" data-attributes="member: 14613"><p>Hi all, sorry for the delay! I had a tough weekend with my diseases (I have systemic lupus and scleroderma). It was peaceful here because my son went back to the city where he was living to pick up his things. But the drama started up when he returned. While he was gone, I realized just what sort of oppressive cloud he has put over my home. </p><p></p><p>Yep, he needs to go. He needs to learn how to make it on his own. The problem is that I am scheduled for some extensive surgery in two weeks and he has to be here for that because he is my next of kin. I have very little family still living. But I am worried about what will be going on at my house while I'm in the hospital. He could very well pawn some of my things and then claim the house was robbed. I really, really hate having to worry about these kinds of things while having to rely on him for a bit of help, as well. I'm thinking that I may have to install new locks on my bedroom doors and lock up my electronics in there. Is that pathetic or what? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p></p><p>I don't understand how and why he can't seem to learn lessons from bad experiences. He actually HAS been homeless and living in a tent for months. He's gone without food and gotten so sick that he wound up in the hospital. It's not like I've run to his rescue all of the time and coddled him when he made bad decisions. After the first time he conned me and I found out, I've let the chips fall where they may and I've continued that policy for YEARS. (He is 24, by the way.) It hasn't worked. So the only thing left was to bring him home, give him a time frame to get a job and save up some money so he can go back out on his own. This is a one-time thing and won't become a yo-yo experience. </p><p></p><p>I think he may be mentally ill. I long suspected his father was bi-polar even though he refused psychiatric testing and intervention. There are many times when he is behaving just as his father did, except the peaks aren't quite as high. The valleys definitely are very low. I am going to start looking for mental health resources, although I can't force him to participate in programs. I hope he will WANT help. But if he does steal from me or become aggressive, I will call the police. If he's lucky, a judge might agree that he needs a mental health program rather than jail and I think judges can order that sort of thing. I just need to be prepared.</p><p></p><p>Happily, I already have household help through the department of disability and my case worker has already increased the number of hours and is scheduling someone to come in every day starting the day I come home from the hospital. I will have a nurse visiting, too. So there will be a lot of people around to intervene and report problems if he does anything the least bit abusive or shady.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="teatime, post: 530543, member: 14613"] Hi all, sorry for the delay! I had a tough weekend with my diseases (I have systemic lupus and scleroderma). It was peaceful here because my son went back to the city where he was living to pick up his things. But the drama started up when he returned. While he was gone, I realized just what sort of oppressive cloud he has put over my home. Yep, he needs to go. He needs to learn how to make it on his own. The problem is that I am scheduled for some extensive surgery in two weeks and he has to be here for that because he is my next of kin. I have very little family still living. But I am worried about what will be going on at my house while I'm in the hospital. He could very well pawn some of my things and then claim the house was robbed. I really, really hate having to worry about these kinds of things while having to rely on him for a bit of help, as well. I'm thinking that I may have to install new locks on my bedroom doors and lock up my electronics in there. Is that pathetic or what? :( I don't understand how and why he can't seem to learn lessons from bad experiences. He actually HAS been homeless and living in a tent for months. He's gone without food and gotten so sick that he wound up in the hospital. It's not like I've run to his rescue all of the time and coddled him when he made bad decisions. After the first time he conned me and I found out, I've let the chips fall where they may and I've continued that policy for YEARS. (He is 24, by the way.) It hasn't worked. So the only thing left was to bring him home, give him a time frame to get a job and save up some money so he can go back out on his own. This is a one-time thing and won't become a yo-yo experience. I think he may be mentally ill. I long suspected his father was bi-polar even though he refused psychiatric testing and intervention. There are many times when he is behaving just as his father did, except the peaks aren't quite as high. The valleys definitely are very low. I am going to start looking for mental health resources, although I can't force him to participate in programs. I hope he will WANT help. But if he does steal from me or become aggressive, I will call the police. If he's lucky, a judge might agree that he needs a mental health program rather than jail and I think judges can order that sort of thing. I just need to be prepared. Happily, I already have household help through the department of disability and my case worker has already increased the number of hours and is scheduling someone to come in every day starting the day I come home from the hospital. I will have a nurse visiting, too. So there will be a lot of people around to intervene and report problems if he does anything the least bit abusive or shady. [/QUOTE]
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