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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 116890" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, I know how hard it is (I still worry myself crazy sometimes over my grown kids) I would only talk to her if she's going to be respectful. No conversation will go anywhere if she calls you names and is abusive and she's too old to throw little girl tantrums. I would tell her you'll talk to her rationally, quietly, calmly, no swearing. Set the rules where if she swears at you, you will quietly hang up and then do it. (I handled my daughter this way when she was out-of-control and it worked). It's just a suggestion, of course. I'd set the same rules for your mother. Your mother is really enabling her behavior...I don't get it, but, then, I don't get lots of things. </p><p>Try to calm down. For most of her life, this daughter did well. Like you said, she is now acting out, but hopefully she will come to her senses on her own (nobody else can make her come to her senses).</p><p>I have a son who was Perfect Son until he met his wife. Then he became a very strange type of Christian (none like I ever heard of before--where you aren't as close to your family and your wife is everything, but he's in charge etc.) I haven't talked to him in two years. He wants nothing to do with us anymore. I have no idea why. Maybe he thinks we're heathens. I know how puzzling it is when a grown child suddenly changes drastically--it's much weirder than when a teen does it. You don't expect it. </p><p>After two years, I've come to accept it and let go. It's up to him if he sees us or not. We can't control or his wife or their beliefs or what they think about us. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my life and not let this disappointment ruin it for me. I did the best I could with this child--we adopted him at six. If he doesn't care about us or want to be with us anymore, it's completely out of my control. The more contact I had with him, trying to figure out what was wrong and talking to him when he would shut down, the worse it got for me.</p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 116890, member: 1550"] Hon, I know how hard it is (I still worry myself crazy sometimes over my grown kids) I would only talk to her if she's going to be respectful. No conversation will go anywhere if she calls you names and is abusive and she's too old to throw little girl tantrums. I would tell her you'll talk to her rationally, quietly, calmly, no swearing. Set the rules where if she swears at you, you will quietly hang up and then do it. (I handled my daughter this way when she was out-of-control and it worked). It's just a suggestion, of course. I'd set the same rules for your mother. Your mother is really enabling her behavior...I don't get it, but, then, I don't get lots of things. Try to calm down. For most of her life, this daughter did well. Like you said, she is now acting out, but hopefully she will come to her senses on her own (nobody else can make her come to her senses). I have a son who was Perfect Son until he met his wife. Then he became a very strange type of Christian (none like I ever heard of before--where you aren't as close to your family and your wife is everything, but he's in charge etc.) I haven't talked to him in two years. He wants nothing to do with us anymore. I have no idea why. Maybe he thinks we're heathens. I know how puzzling it is when a grown child suddenly changes drastically--it's much weirder than when a teen does it. You don't expect it. After two years, I've come to accept it and let go. It's up to him if he sees us or not. We can't control or his wife or their beliefs or what they think about us. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my life and not let this disappointment ruin it for me. I did the best I could with this child--we adopted him at six. If he doesn't care about us or want to be with us anymore, it's completely out of my control. The more contact I had with him, trying to figure out what was wrong and talking to him when he would shut down, the worse it got for me. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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