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<blockquote data-quote="april1974" data-source="post: 443108" data-attributes="member: 12128"><p>Sprite: I have come to realize it's not our parenting it's our children, and that is a hard fact to swallow because parenting we can change, children not so easy to change. But since all of your other kids are fine and my other two don't have the same aggression as my M does it clicked in one day "it's not me, it's him" how I react isn't always appropriate but I confess I get so frustrated and fed up, I end up having a tantrum of my own<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/rollingpin.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rollingpin:" title="rollingpin :rollingpin:" data-shortname=":rollingpin:" /></p><p></p><p>I know there are medications for adhd that seem to help aggression this might be something to look into and if it settles him down(ritalin) then it might be a benefit for him and your family. My M has attacked his brother, pushed him, scratched him, it's been aweful....but it seems to be less and less lately, I'm hoping he is starting to think before reacting. It's really hard determining the "normal" sib stuff from the "abnormal" for me, I consider the abnormal is when it's unprovoked. We are working on that with M.</p><p></p><p>Try a reward for your son, he's 5 right, what activity does he love? Why not say to him "if you don't hit for 1wk, me & you will xxxx" maybe give him some independance, I keep a cup in the bathroom so if my kids say "i'm thirsty" they know they can go into the bathroom and get a drink of water. Maybe keep a journal of when/time etc that your son hits unprovoked. With my M he is a cranky cat in the eve, he starts getting tired and uncomfortable(eczema) and becomes foul, I know now it's more the fact he needs to go to bed or have a soothing bath for his skin and then a cuddle.</p><p></p><p>I know it's really hard to love them when they are bad, but sometimes they need love when they deserve it the least...and that is something I'm trying to work on...especially when I'm pmsing and struggling with my own emotions....it's a really tough road.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="april1974, post: 443108, member: 12128"] Sprite: I have come to realize it's not our parenting it's our children, and that is a hard fact to swallow because parenting we can change, children not so easy to change. But since all of your other kids are fine and my other two don't have the same aggression as my M does it clicked in one day "it's not me, it's him" how I react isn't always appropriate but I confess I get so frustrated and fed up, I end up having a tantrum of my own:rollingpin: I know there are medications for adhd that seem to help aggression this might be something to look into and if it settles him down(ritalin) then it might be a benefit for him and your family. My M has attacked his brother, pushed him, scratched him, it's been aweful....but it seems to be less and less lately, I'm hoping he is starting to think before reacting. It's really hard determining the "normal" sib stuff from the "abnormal" for me, I consider the abnormal is when it's unprovoked. We are working on that with M. Try a reward for your son, he's 5 right, what activity does he love? Why not say to him "if you don't hit for 1wk, me & you will xxxx" maybe give him some independance, I keep a cup in the bathroom so if my kids say "i'm thirsty" they know they can go into the bathroom and get a drink of water. Maybe keep a journal of when/time etc that your son hits unprovoked. With my M he is a cranky cat in the eve, he starts getting tired and uncomfortable(eczema) and becomes foul, I know now it's more the fact he needs to go to bed or have a soothing bath for his skin and then a cuddle. I know it's really hard to love them when they are bad, but sometimes they need love when they deserve it the least...and that is something I'm trying to work on...especially when I'm pmsing and struggling with my own emotions....it's a really tough road. [/QUOTE]
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