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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 486062"><p>I know all too well how much it hurts your mommy heart to feel like your family is falling apart.... and maybe it is for now. If he has a younger brother who also wants him out of the house pay attention to that. The younger sibling has surely suffered from his older brothers behavior and he is under 18 and it is time to protect and support him. I know it is really hard to do and as a parent it is hard when you feel like you have to choose the welfare of one child over another.... but your main job right now has to be to support and care for your minor child.</p><p></p><p>I say this from experience. I have a younger daughter. We also sent my son to a TBS when he was 15. While he was gone she blossomed and thrived and she and I got very close. When he came back she was doing ok but shut down a bit.... over a series of events we got her into therapy. It became very clear from that that having him home and all the chaos and strife (once he started using again) was hurting her. At this point she hates him and it breaks my heart. However I have become very clear that she deserves some peace at home her last couple of years in high school and I cannot sacrifice her emotional well being for him and his shenanigans. We are at the point where we will not make her see him..... why should she when he has not made any amends to her or us for his past behavior. As a mother I will always love him, no matter what... but that is not true for a sister. And I have a strong hope that someday when he really pulls his life together and is sober for a good period of time, that he will take the steps to repair his relationship with her and that we can be together as a family again. But for now I have accepted that is not going to be the case right now.</p><p></p><p>Take care of your youngest... he needs you too.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 486062"] I know all too well how much it hurts your mommy heart to feel like your family is falling apart.... and maybe it is for now. If he has a younger brother who also wants him out of the house pay attention to that. The younger sibling has surely suffered from his older brothers behavior and he is under 18 and it is time to protect and support him. I know it is really hard to do and as a parent it is hard when you feel like you have to choose the welfare of one child over another.... but your main job right now has to be to support and care for your minor child. I say this from experience. I have a younger daughter. We also sent my son to a TBS when he was 15. While he was gone she blossomed and thrived and she and I got very close. When he came back she was doing ok but shut down a bit.... over a series of events we got her into therapy. It became very clear from that that having him home and all the chaos and strife (once he started using again) was hurting her. At this point she hates him and it breaks my heart. However I have become very clear that she deserves some peace at home her last couple of years in high school and I cannot sacrifice her emotional well being for him and his shenanigans. We are at the point where we will not make her see him..... why should she when he has not made any amends to her or us for his past behavior. As a mother I will always love him, no matter what... but that is not true for a sister. And I have a strong hope that someday when he really pulls his life together and is sober for a good period of time, that he will take the steps to repair his relationship with her and that we can be together as a family again. But for now I have accepted that is not going to be the case right now. Take care of your youngest... he needs you too. TL [/QUOTE]
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