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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 703755" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am sorry this happened. Molestation is horrible. Our family experienced it and we didn't know either. Once we found out, the foster teen who had done it for three years was sent away. I felt very guilty. Still do. But my kids blessedly never blamed me.However I still blame me. But I have great relationships with them...they did intensive therapy as did hubby and I and we stuck together. I did have a child we adopted at six take off at about 25 or 30 (dont remember exact age). I will explain a bit later. I understand the pain of losing your two daughters, at least for now. Not fun.</p><p></p><p> Really, you can't control your daughters. They went through a lot and need their time to absorb it all.</p><p></p><p>But you can and should get professional help for yourself to learn coping skills during this difficult time. You need to stop hating yourself and to give the older girls the space they need. I adopted a child who left our family because of anger at something. I am not sure what. It did coincide with meeting his now wife and she clearly wanted him to herself. We could all see her pulling him away and He let her do it. He didn't explain and he never came back. And all pleadings to ask what was wrong were answered vaguely until we lost touch. His wish.</p><p></p><p>I have two legal grandchildren live never met...but it is what it is. I too have other kids and two other grandkids...life goes on unless we stop it...you matter. Get help. Live. Nurture your blessings. There is hope but enjoy every !moment of your life even as you wait. It is up to your daughters to soften their hearts. Give them time but still live!!! I learned to be grateful for my wonderful husband and amazing other kids and grands and I can honestly say, in spite of s huge loss, life is good and so peaceful.</p><p></p><p> I hope your daughters forgive you and come back . The future is s great unknown for us all. You have a loving relationship with three daughters. That is a blessing. Nurture that relationship. See what happens. Don't we all wish we had a crystal ball?</p><p></p><p>Hugs and love to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 703755, member: 1550"] I am sorry this happened. Molestation is horrible. Our family experienced it and we didn't know either. Once we found out, the foster teen who had done it for three years was sent away. I felt very guilty. Still do. But my kids blessedly never blamed me.However I still blame me. But I have great relationships with them...they did intensive therapy as did hubby and I and we stuck together. I did have a child we adopted at six take off at about 25 or 30 (dont remember exact age). I will explain a bit later. I understand the pain of losing your two daughters, at least for now. Not fun. Really, you can't control your daughters. They went through a lot and need their time to absorb it all. But you can and should get professional help for yourself to learn coping skills during this difficult time. You need to stop hating yourself and to give the older girls the space they need. I adopted a child who left our family because of anger at something. I am not sure what. It did coincide with meeting his now wife and she clearly wanted him to herself. We could all see her pulling him away and He let her do it. He didn't explain and he never came back. And all pleadings to ask what was wrong were answered vaguely until we lost touch. His wish. I have two legal grandchildren live never met...but it is what it is. I too have other kids and two other grandkids...life goes on unless we stop it...you matter. Get help. Live. Nurture your blessings. There is hope but enjoy every !moment of your life even as you wait. It is up to your daughters to soften their hearts. Give them time but still live!!! I learned to be grateful for my wonderful husband and amazing other kids and grands and I can honestly say, in spite of s huge loss, life is good and so peaceful. I hope your daughters forgive you and come back . The future is s great unknown for us all. You have a loving relationship with three daughters. That is a blessing. Nurture that relationship. See what happens. Don't we all wish we had a crystal ball? Hugs and love to you. [/QUOTE]
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