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<blockquote data-quote="Enmeshedmom" data-source="post: 724596" data-attributes="member: 22547"><p>So sorry for all you have been through. That is my worst nightmare. I’m a little irritated right now because he called out of work today for no good reason and I’m wondering if there is a reason he is not telling me. Initially he said it was to look for a new job which makes no sense because he has had all day to look for another job, his shift doesn’t start until 4:30. He doesn’t call out a lot and I know that when I was his age I took some nonsense sick days but for some reason things like this really trigger me.</p><p></p><p>...two minutes after typing this he came out of his room to tell me that he was going to play guitar at his friends house. He said “please don’t freak out but I’m going over to so and so’s to jam.”Said it wasn’t planned that way he just now texted him and asked him to come over. How stupid does he think I am? He said “I’m 19 I don’t have to lie to you.” To which I said “no you don’t but you choose to anyway.” I specifically asked him if he had other plans with friends and he said no, my gut knew that wasn’t true. the only thing worse than being lied to is knowing your being lied to. If he would of just said “ I think I am going to play hooky tonight and go jam with so and so.” I would not have really liked it, but I wouldn’t argue with him about it either. I also have had issues with ptsd having to do with my younger son who was born with a birth defect and has had many surgeries as an infant and almost died and then a couple more when he was 7 for a major bowel obstruction. I wonder sometimes if that has programmed this constant “high alert” feeling that I live with everyday. My younger sons health is my trigger with him and my older one is his behavior but the feelings are all the same.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Enmeshedmom, post: 724596, member: 22547"] So sorry for all you have been through. That is my worst nightmare. I’m a little irritated right now because he called out of work today for no good reason and I’m wondering if there is a reason he is not telling me. Initially he said it was to look for a new job which makes no sense because he has had all day to look for another job, his shift doesn’t start until 4:30. He doesn’t call out a lot and I know that when I was his age I took some nonsense sick days but for some reason things like this really trigger me. ...two minutes after typing this he came out of his room to tell me that he was going to play guitar at his friends house. He said “please don’t freak out but I’m going over to so and so’s to jam.”Said it wasn’t planned that way he just now texted him and asked him to come over. How stupid does he think I am? He said “I’m 19 I don’t have to lie to you.” To which I said “no you don’t but you choose to anyway.” I specifically asked him if he had other plans with friends and he said no, my gut knew that wasn’t true. the only thing worse than being lied to is knowing your being lied to. If he would of just said “ I think I am going to play hooky tonight and go jam with so and so.” I would not have really liked it, but I wouldn’t argue with him about it either. I also have had issues with ptsd having to do with my younger son who was born with a birth defect and has had many surgeries as an infant and almost died and then a couple more when he was 7 for a major bowel obstruction. I wonder sometimes if that has programmed this constant “high alert” feeling that I live with everyday. My younger sons health is my trigger with him and my older one is his behavior but the feelings are all the same. [/QUOTE]
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