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<blockquote data-quote="mrsammler" data-source="post: 425979"><p>Thumper, my nephew (the difficult child in my life--why I surf this site) is undoubtedly a sociopath, or perhaps even an outright psychopath, since he seems to have been this way--i.e., very selfish, willful, amoral, unable to accept or absorb correction or punishment, rule-breaking, dishonest, thieving, etc etc--ever since early childhood. And he was very difficult in infancy--was "balky" during breast-feeding, always distracted and difficult to feed, slept fitfully, etc. In other words, almost all of the early signs of psychopathy, or the congenital inclination toward it.</p><p></p><p>I didn't figure it out--always thought that he was just spoiled rotten (which he was) or, after he was 11 or so, a "bad seed"--until I read Hervey Cleckely's book The Mask of Sanity last spring and connected the dots. The absence of conscience, the complete amorality, the bottomless selfishness, the gross immaturity, the parasitic way of life, ceaseless inclination toward drugs and partying, the violent rages and tantrums, inability to learn from experience, refusal to accept responsibility, refusal to form or follow a life plan, the deep well of insecurity at the core of it all, etc etc--it's all there. Once I figured it out, I found it kind of luridly fascinating to observe--I know that that's impossible for a parent, but I wasn't his parent (thank God)--at the same time that it was very tedious and exasperating and all of that. I'll say this: he is the worst, most unlikable person I have ever know, by a long shot. And I've been around the block a few times. I can't imagine what it must be like to have one for a child--it was pretty hideous having him for a nephew.</p><p></p><p>Thumper, I've observed a sociopath from childhood through adolescence (he's now 19), but you've seen what I assume will be his future: the years from 20 to 40. What was it like? What can I expect in my nephew's life? I keep reading about the supposed diminishment or even extinction effect of pschopathy/sociopathy in middle age, but I also read that that might be a myth, or only applicable to low-grade sociopaths, not the so-called "primary" psychopath. So I'm very curious to hear your account.</p><p></p><p>I'll conclude with this: I can't imagine a worse experience than raising a sociopath. I've given it a lot of thought--I have 4 kids of my own, all PCs--and I think I'd rather have a child with a terminal illness than a sociopath. The suffering of the parents is simply enormous, and it appears to be relentless and never-ending unless the parents can achieve real detachment. My sister can't do it--she lives in a fortress of denial, and my nephew simply preys upon her, financially and emotionally. And he's only 19--she can expect another half-century of this if her health holds out.</p><p> Unthinkable.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mrsammler, post: 425979"] Thumper, my nephew (the difficult child in my life--why I surf this site) is undoubtedly a sociopath, or perhaps even an outright psychopath, since he seems to have been this way--i.e., very selfish, willful, amoral, unable to accept or absorb correction or punishment, rule-breaking, dishonest, thieving, etc etc--ever since early childhood. And he was very difficult in infancy--was "balky" during breast-feeding, always distracted and difficult to feed, slept fitfully, etc. In other words, almost all of the early signs of psychopathy, or the congenital inclination toward it. I didn't figure it out--always thought that he was just spoiled rotten (which he was) or, after he was 11 or so, a "bad seed"--until I read Hervey Cleckely's book The Mask of Sanity last spring and connected the dots. The absence of conscience, the complete amorality, the bottomless selfishness, the gross immaturity, the parasitic way of life, ceaseless inclination toward drugs and partying, the violent rages and tantrums, inability to learn from experience, refusal to accept responsibility, refusal to form or follow a life plan, the deep well of insecurity at the core of it all, etc etc--it's all there. Once I figured it out, I found it kind of luridly fascinating to observe--I know that that's impossible for a parent, but I wasn't his parent (thank God)--at the same time that it was very tedious and exasperating and all of that. I'll say this: he is the worst, most unlikable person I have ever know, by a long shot. And I've been around the block a few times. I can't imagine what it must be like to have one for a child--it was pretty hideous having him for a nephew. Thumper, I've observed a sociopath from childhood through adolescence (he's now 19), but you've seen what I assume will be his future: the years from 20 to 40. What was it like? What can I expect in my nephew's life? I keep reading about the supposed diminishment or even extinction effect of pschopathy/sociopathy in middle age, but I also read that that might be a myth, or only applicable to low-grade sociopaths, not the so-called "primary" psychopath. So I'm very curious to hear your account. I'll conclude with this: I can't imagine a worse experience than raising a sociopath. I've given it a lot of thought--I have 4 kids of my own, all PCs--and I think I'd rather have a child with a terminal illness than a sociopath. The suffering of the parents is simply enormous, and it appears to be relentless and never-ending unless the parents can achieve real detachment. My sister can't do it--she lives in a fortress of denial, and my nephew simply preys upon her, financially and emotionally. And he's only 19--she can expect another half-century of this if her health holds out. Unthinkable. [/QUOTE]
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