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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 426199" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Welcome! We all have difficult situations here and can understand in a way most others cannot. Having an adult difficult child is an experience you can't understand unless you've been there. People tell you to "talk to them," "get them counseling," "just make them straighten up," "if that was my kid..." They have no idea how agonizing the situation is because there is little you can really do as the parent of an adult with problems. Is my daughter a sociopath? I don't know, but she has lots of problems with no interest in working on improving her life. She basically wants interaction with people only if it benefits her. She's a master manipulator, and yes I had her in all kinds of counseling/therapy/you name it while she was growing up. When I am out of contact with her it is easier because the chaos is not up in my face all the time. But I still worry. Whether or not your son is a sociopath what you need to try to remember is not to take his stuff personally. I know, it sounds crazy because that is your son. But trust me, these kids treat everyone the same way- family, friends, strangers- everyone is a "mark" to be used for their benefit. So it's not about you being a "bad" parent or even about you being his parent at all. He doesn't really see his actions as affecting you, especially if he is a sociopath, in which case he is literally incapable of having any kind of empathy for anyone else. It's basically like dealing with a lizard in a human suit. They just have that piece of their brain missing and there's no treatment. I try my very hardest to make all my dealings with Kat very business-like, otherwise things get out of hand quickly because these kids know how to push your buttons and ramp up your emotions. I am much better at hangng up, walking away, whatever when things start getting emotionally charged. I have learned lots of self-preservation tricks and when I start slipping I jump on here for reinforcements! These boards have never failed to provide me with objective advice or just a place to vent!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 426199, member: 11235"] Welcome! We all have difficult situations here and can understand in a way most others cannot. Having an adult difficult child is an experience you can't understand unless you've been there. People tell you to "talk to them," "get them counseling," "just make them straighten up," "if that was my kid..." They have no idea how agonizing the situation is because there is little you can really do as the parent of an adult with problems. Is my daughter a sociopath? I don't know, but she has lots of problems with no interest in working on improving her life. She basically wants interaction with people only if it benefits her. She's a master manipulator, and yes I had her in all kinds of counseling/therapy/you name it while she was growing up. When I am out of contact with her it is easier because the chaos is not up in my face all the time. But I still worry. Whether or not your son is a sociopath what you need to try to remember is not to take his stuff personally. I know, it sounds crazy because that is your son. But trust me, these kids treat everyone the same way- family, friends, strangers- everyone is a "mark" to be used for their benefit. So it's not about you being a "bad" parent or even about you being his parent at all. He doesn't really see his actions as affecting you, especially if he is a sociopath, in which case he is literally incapable of having any kind of empathy for anyone else. It's basically like dealing with a lizard in a human suit. They just have that piece of their brain missing and there's no treatment. I try my very hardest to make all my dealings with Kat very business-like, otherwise things get out of hand quickly because these kids know how to push your buttons and ramp up your emotions. I am much better at hangng up, walking away, whatever when things start getting emotionally charged. I have learned lots of self-preservation tricks and when I start slipping I jump on here for reinforcements! These boards have never failed to provide me with objective advice or just a place to vent! [/QUOTE]
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