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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 427113" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Thumper, </p><p> </p><p>Welcome to the board. </p><p> </p><p>My thoughts on you having lived with a sociopath and now not having any contact with one are that it is freeing, and scary as hell at the same time. They are people who are without conscious, regret, yet they can be charming to a degree so deep you would thing that it is you who has the problem and regret even thinking badly of them to begin with. After having had so many years of being in the same house with a child like yours I would highly recommend contacting a therapist and having a few sessions to get some of the cobwebs as it were out of your head. </p><p> </p><p>Living with one, raising one, marrying one, being around one for a long period of time can cause anxiety, feelings of guilt, remorse, intense sadness, and a bevy of emotions that people sometimes feel disappear when the person leaves. Not necessarily so. I'm not sure of your reasons for wanting to know years later what any one elses experiences were like. In a word? Hell. The fallout they leave in their wake is devastation, for years to come. The havoc they wreak is indescribably insane, and the victims they damage are damaged for life without treatment. (in my humble opinion). </p><p> </p><p>If you have had no contact with your son? I feel for your heart as a Mother. I know that must be hard, because as a Mother and as someone who survived a sociopath/psychopath relationship and watched his family disintegrate? I know the heartache. I can tell you that if he truly is a socio/psychopath - there isn't a cure for him at 40, he's damaged, and the best he could hope for is to get into instense psycho therapy or sadly prison where he would be incarcerated and out of the public for the rest of his life so he couldn't do harm to anyone. As far as wondering was he born or created? I've heard both can occur - and as the Mom of someone who was destined to be genitically predisposed to having more than a good chance of becoming anti-social and evolving into a psychopath? We worked tirelessly at changing his behavior patterns and feel we were successful. At 20 he has a conscious, and is remorseful to a point, and has regrets and emotions. Things psychopaths are not capable of in the least. </p><p> </p><p>If there is a specific question you have or ask I'll try to answer as best I can based on what I know, but my thoughts are that since you have survived? I would seek therapy so that what years you DO have left you don't fill with a single shred of doubt, remorse, regret or blame. I would find a therapist that deals specifically with the criminally insane or behaviors of that nature as a regular therapist wouldn't have insight into the everyday deviant minds of mas murderers, natural born killers, psychopaths and sociopaths. They are a unique breed, not your garden variety topic for general therapists, and you really should seek someone that is older and more specialized to help you. Even if you only go for a few sessions and ask very few questions - you'll get excellent answers specicied about your son and your why, whats, whos. Because no two have the same reasons for what they do, or why they do it. Backgrounds, childhoods, brain mapping, tragedies, triggers - it's so hard to say what caused your son to be like he is....trying to compare is apples and oranges. </p><p> </p><p>Hope this helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 427113, member: 4964"] Thumper, Welcome to the board. My thoughts on you having lived with a sociopath and now not having any contact with one are that it is freeing, and scary as hell at the same time. They are people who are without conscious, regret, yet they can be charming to a degree so deep you would thing that it is you who has the problem and regret even thinking badly of them to begin with. After having had so many years of being in the same house with a child like yours I would highly recommend contacting a therapist and having a few sessions to get some of the cobwebs as it were out of your head. Living with one, raising one, marrying one, being around one for a long period of time can cause anxiety, feelings of guilt, remorse, intense sadness, and a bevy of emotions that people sometimes feel disappear when the person leaves. Not necessarily so. I'm not sure of your reasons for wanting to know years later what any one elses experiences were like. In a word? Hell. The fallout they leave in their wake is devastation, for years to come. The havoc they wreak is indescribably insane, and the victims they damage are damaged for life without treatment. (in my humble opinion). If you have had no contact with your son? I feel for your heart as a Mother. I know that must be hard, because as a Mother and as someone who survived a sociopath/psychopath relationship and watched his family disintegrate? I know the heartache. I can tell you that if he truly is a socio/psychopath - there isn't a cure for him at 40, he's damaged, and the best he could hope for is to get into instense psycho therapy or sadly prison where he would be incarcerated and out of the public for the rest of his life so he couldn't do harm to anyone. As far as wondering was he born or created? I've heard both can occur - and as the Mom of someone who was destined to be genitically predisposed to having more than a good chance of becoming anti-social and evolving into a psychopath? We worked tirelessly at changing his behavior patterns and feel we were successful. At 20 he has a conscious, and is remorseful to a point, and has regrets and emotions. Things psychopaths are not capable of in the least. If there is a specific question you have or ask I'll try to answer as best I can based on what I know, but my thoughts are that since you have survived? I would seek therapy so that what years you DO have left you don't fill with a single shred of doubt, remorse, regret or blame. I would find a therapist that deals specifically with the criminally insane or behaviors of that nature as a regular therapist wouldn't have insight into the everyday deviant minds of mas murderers, natural born killers, psychopaths and sociopaths. They are a unique breed, not your garden variety topic for general therapists, and you really should seek someone that is older and more specialized to help you. Even if you only go for a few sessions and ask very few questions - you'll get excellent answers specicied about your son and your why, whats, whos. Because no two have the same reasons for what they do, or why they do it. Backgrounds, childhoods, brain mapping, tragedies, triggers - it's so hard to say what caused your son to be like he is....trying to compare is apples and oranges. Hope this helps. [/QUOTE]
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