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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
New member - frustrated and concerned
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 703087" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. Adoptive mom of four. One is very successful but didn't attach, but I and the adoption psychologist I saw without my son for two years (he would not go) think that his being in an orphanage for six years made it hard for him to love us back. Over ten years since we have seen him. My other three are grown and thriving and close, in spite of being adopted and different races. They are all different</p><p></p><p>Hon, the other twin is thriving. You can not blame yourselves for this twin, who may have received the short end of his biological DNA so he struggles. He has to find his way. Or not.</p><p></p><p>While I'm not a pot fan and think that it is like alcohol (some people use it recreationally with no problems and some use it daily with problems, it is the theft that would worry me the most. He may be using more than just pot. We are always the last to know.</p><p></p><p>Lock up bank info and credit cards just in case. Be proactively careful. Many of our kids end up stealing from us and it hurts. It is in my opinion good to prevent it.</p><p></p><p>I feel badly for your situation. You obviously provided all the love he needed. Now the rest of his life is on his shoulders, not yours. You will find he will only change when he is ready. We, the parents, can not force them. We CAN enjoy our friends and family who make us smile and to always take best care of ourselves. We matter. We can control ourselves, not others.</p><p></p><p>Try to have a serene night and many hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 703087, member: 1550"] Hi. Adoptive mom of four. One is very successful but didn't attach, but I and the adoption psychologist I saw without my son for two years (he would not go) think that his being in an orphanage for six years made it hard for him to love us back. Over ten years since we have seen him. My other three are grown and thriving and close, in spite of being adopted and different races. They are all different Hon, the other twin is thriving. You can not blame yourselves for this twin, who may have received the short end of his biological DNA so he struggles. He has to find his way. Or not. While I'm not a pot fan and think that it is like alcohol (some people use it recreationally with no problems and some use it daily with problems, it is the theft that would worry me the most. He may be using more than just pot. We are always the last to know. Lock up bank info and credit cards just in case. Be proactively careful. Many of our kids end up stealing from us and it hurts. It is in my opinion good to prevent it. I feel badly for your situation. You obviously provided all the love he needed. Now the rest of his life is on his shoulders, not yours. You will find he will only change when he is ready. We, the parents, can not force them. We CAN enjoy our friends and family who make us smile and to always take best care of ourselves. We matter. We can control ourselves, not others. Try to have a serene night and many hugs. [/QUOTE]
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New member - frustrated and concerned
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