Our son Matt is 18 years old. He has been raised in a very typical suburban middle-class household. My husband worked out of our home part-time and was basically a stay-at-home Dad to our son and his twin brother. Although I worked full-time, I was home for dinner every night and we were both actively involved in our kids activities, including swim team, soccer, boy scouts, etc. Our marriage is very stable and we spent a lot of time together as a family when the boys were young. We adopted these boys as infants. Neither of our boys were particularly good students and struggled with ADHD and some minor learning disabilities. Matt suffered from some anxieties, mostly related to separation, throughout childhood. Things started to go down hill for Matt in high school. He became very withdrawn and irritable. He had trouble sleeping. We started him on a low dose of anti-depressants as a freshman. He was resistant to therapy. In his sophomore year we discovered he was using weed and failing most of his classes. We again tried unsuccessfully to get him into therapy and wound up increasing the antidepressants at the recommendation of a psychiatrist. Things were ok for the rest of sophomore and junior year. In the first semester of senior year, he began talking to friends about suicide. He did a one month outpatient therapy program where he made little progress. The following February he was arrested for stealing about $200 out of the cash drawer from his employer. A couple of weeks later he was picked up for shoplifting at Walmart. At this point, he agreed to go to therapy if we gave him some money ($20) for each therapy session. This was his only source of income since we were no longer giving him allowance. The therapist is excellent and he has been seeing her ever since. Both boys graduated from high school. The brother went away to college an Matt asked to be enrolled part time in junior college, mainly because his girlfriend wanted him to. He found a good part time job but was having trouble getting to work on time and was laid off after a month. He broke up with the girlfriend in early fall and we recently learned that he was lying about attending classes. After several months of unemployment, he is now delivering pizzas and has stuck with that job for about 2 months now. The therapist believes the depression is better and there has been no more talk of suicide that we are aware of. We have started weaning him off his antidepressants. (He does not want to take antidepressants and we really can't force him to so this was a necessary step.) Today, we learned that he was arrested for possession of marijuana. Fortunately it was a misdemeanor. We are trying to decide how to react to this. Matt regularly lies to us and has been lying to the therapist as well about his use of weed. (The therapist is out of the country until next month.) I know a misdemeanor cannabis possession is small compared to what some of the parents on this site have been through but I feel there is no upside with this kid. We do not have a great relationship with him - its not like we are having major fights but he avoids us an d basically just uses the house to sleep. I would really value some insight and guidance from others with experience.