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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 666850" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>P126Mum, welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry that you are isolated from both your husband and your daughter, and right now it seems like there is no way out.</p><p></p><p>I don't think anyone should have to live the way you are living, with two virtual strangers in your own home, but I know people who have had to do it for a while...myself included before my divorce. I hope you can begin to make plans to create a safe and peaceful haven for yourself somewhere, somehow. I have come to believe, through my own difficulties in my first marriage, and through my son's problems, that having a home that is a sanctuary is just about a sacred thing for me. I must have it in order to deal with life. </p><p></p><p>That said, I understand that you are in a hard situation right now, a no-win situation, with your husband and daughter, and having a son you are trying to think of first.</p><p></p><p>You talk about shame. I don't see any shame here. Your husband and your daughter are their own people, and doing whatever they decide to do. That isn't on you. Your daughter's problems very likely have little to nothing at all to do with you.</p><p></p><p>Once our children are adults, if they can't act like adults and comply with society's most basic rules, like being cordial, picking up after themselves, paying their share, working, etc., in my opinion it's time for them to go. Is that a possibility for your daughter, moving out? At least then you would just have one difficult person in the house.</p><p></p><p>I'm just so sorry. Please tell us more when you can. I wish I had some bright ideas that you hadn't already considered, but I'm sure you've been around the block a hundred times already. Please keep sharing. We're here for you, and we care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 666850, member: 17542"] P126Mum, welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry that you are isolated from both your husband and your daughter, and right now it seems like there is no way out. I don't think anyone should have to live the way you are living, with two virtual strangers in your own home, but I know people who have had to do it for a while...myself included before my divorce. I hope you can begin to make plans to create a safe and peaceful haven for yourself somewhere, somehow. I have come to believe, through my own difficulties in my first marriage, and through my son's problems, that having a home that is a sanctuary is just about a sacred thing for me. I must have it in order to deal with life. That said, I understand that you are in a hard situation right now, a no-win situation, with your husband and daughter, and having a son you are trying to think of first. You talk about shame. I don't see any shame here. Your husband and your daughter are their own people, and doing whatever they decide to do. That isn't on you. Your daughter's problems very likely have little to nothing at all to do with you. Once our children are adults, if they can't act like adults and comply with society's most basic rules, like being cordial, picking up after themselves, paying their share, working, etc., in my opinion it's time for them to go. Is that a possibility for your daughter, moving out? At least then you would just have one difficult person in the house. I'm just so sorry. Please tell us more when you can. I wish I had some bright ideas that you hadn't already considered, but I'm sure you've been around the block a hundred times already. Please keep sharing. We're here for you, and we care. [/QUOTE]
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