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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 197780" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>'It's interesting that I never really attributed his behaviors when he was younger as "a problem".'</p><p></p><p>They're NOT a problem, they're actually him finding his own solution.</p><p></p><p>They are, however, indicative of an underlying problem.</p><p></p><p>Can you see the difference?</p><p></p><p>If the behaviour is a problem, you try to stop it. But if the behaviour is actually a coping skill because of a different problem, you allow it and support it.</p><p></p><p>"We read to him every night before bed and he really loves it. "</p><p></p><p>So he loves books. He loves mental stimulation. Sounds like he thrives on it.</p><p></p><p>Think about "Star Wars" - it is highly involved, very complex, good vs evil. It's also highly steeped in mythology, it uses (deliberately) a lot of mythic concepts and motifs which helps it plug into our consciousness at a deep level, so it appeals to our innate sense of justice. That sense of justice is very strong in kids like this. Very strong in very smart kids as well as Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids.</p><p></p><p>A lot of Aspies are into "Star Wars" or sci-fi in general. </p><p></p><p>I understand the sadness of not having a 'normal' child. However, as you go on you will find joys that you could never have, with a normal child. In some ways, Aspies & autistics are "super-normal".</p><p></p><p>Yes, they are frustrating at times. It's not much consolation, but they find us and everyone else equally frustrating.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes it's like raising a little alien, a sort of mini-ET who is slowly learning how to blend in with society so he won't be recognised as an alien and interrogated by the government. Other parents liken it to artificial intelligence. All sorts of analogies. But as I learned from the TV show last night on Kim Peek, the books are currently being rewritten and it is parents who have driven the change in awareness of the doctors. They are discovering and accepting things we've known for years, things we thought were common knowledge - autistics CAN feel emotions, they often feel them very intensely. They just don't always express it in ways we recognise. A child who looks stone-faced all the time is assumed to have no feelings - that child just isn't letting his feelings show on his face.</p><p></p><p>Your son doesn't have a diagnosis yet. I would strongly recommend that you put Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) high on the list of things you want investigated first. There could be an ADHD component as well - increasingly, they are thinking that ADHD is part of the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) spectrum. But again, I don't know how well-accepted this idea is. Just be ready, in case.</p><p></p><p>A Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) label isn't necessarily tragic news, certainly not the way it used to be thought. Kim Peek's parents were told that he was profoundly handicapped, he would never be able to learn or function. OK, he needs a great deal of help in very basic things including getting dressed; but his breadth of knowledge is amazing. Dustin Hoffman described him as a gift to the world.</p><p>Similarly, difficult child 3 and difficult child 1 both 'failed' their first IQ test. We were given a particularly depressing forecast for difficult child 3, similar to what Kim Peek's parents were told. But boy, were they wrong!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 197780, member: 1991"] 'It's interesting that I never really attributed his behaviors when he was younger as "a problem".' They're NOT a problem, they're actually him finding his own solution. They are, however, indicative of an underlying problem. Can you see the difference? If the behaviour is a problem, you try to stop it. But if the behaviour is actually a coping skill because of a different problem, you allow it and support it. "We read to him every night before bed and he really loves it. " So he loves books. He loves mental stimulation. Sounds like he thrives on it. Think about "Star Wars" - it is highly involved, very complex, good vs evil. It's also highly steeped in mythology, it uses (deliberately) a lot of mythic concepts and motifs which helps it plug into our consciousness at a deep level, so it appeals to our innate sense of justice. That sense of justice is very strong in kids like this. Very strong in very smart kids as well as Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids. A lot of Aspies are into "Star Wars" or sci-fi in general. I understand the sadness of not having a 'normal' child. However, as you go on you will find joys that you could never have, with a normal child. In some ways, Aspies & autistics are "super-normal". Yes, they are frustrating at times. It's not much consolation, but they find us and everyone else equally frustrating. Sometimes it's like raising a little alien, a sort of mini-ET who is slowly learning how to blend in with society so he won't be recognised as an alien and interrogated by the government. Other parents liken it to artificial intelligence. All sorts of analogies. But as I learned from the TV show last night on Kim Peek, the books are currently being rewritten and it is parents who have driven the change in awareness of the doctors. They are discovering and accepting things we've known for years, things we thought were common knowledge - autistics CAN feel emotions, they often feel them very intensely. They just don't always express it in ways we recognise. A child who looks stone-faced all the time is assumed to have no feelings - that child just isn't letting his feelings show on his face. Your son doesn't have a diagnosis yet. I would strongly recommend that you put Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) high on the list of things you want investigated first. There could be an ADHD component as well - increasingly, they are thinking that ADHD is part of the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) spectrum. But again, I don't know how well-accepted this idea is. Just be ready, in case. A Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) label isn't necessarily tragic news, certainly not the way it used to be thought. Kim Peek's parents were told that he was profoundly handicapped, he would never be able to learn or function. OK, he needs a great deal of help in very basic things including getting dressed; but his breadth of knowledge is amazing. Dustin Hoffman described him as a gift to the world. Similarly, difficult child 3 and difficult child 1 both 'failed' their first IQ test. We were given a particularly depressing forecast for difficult child 3, similar to what Kim Peek's parents were told. But boy, were they wrong! Marg [/QUOTE]
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