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Failure to Thrive
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<blockquote data-quote="kat913" data-source="post: 731471" data-attributes="member: 22998"><p>Thank you both SomewhereOutThere and GStorm for the response and support. What struck me is how you both said "abuse". I have never realized this. I knew it felt demeaning and scary (after all I have done for this kid lol) but didn't put it together with being abusive and that I deserve both "peace: and solitude" as you both said.</p><p></p><p> This morning I was losing my courage (it's cold out...I will take him closer to warm weather....I still have to call shelter and that opens at 10am and that's what time I start work...(although my boss has given me freedom to take any day I need to do this.). Your words and feeling the sun shining behind me as I write (plus I have a friend willing to help me today take him) is helping me move an inch forward. </p><p></p><p>I wrote out the pros and cons last night and this is what I realized....if I take him he may have opportunity (if he chooses the path presented him); I will have relief (he won't die inside my home) yet there still will be feelings of loss and fear or.....I can go on with this fantasy that is actually an unhealthy/hateful dependency which leaves him stuck in bed and no opportunity to grow. I love my son and want a life for him and have tried everything. This appears to be the last outstretched hand of opportunity. I am scared but i know it is the right thing. Thank you so much for listening.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kat913, post: 731471, member: 22998"] Thank you both SomewhereOutThere and GStorm for the response and support. What struck me is how you both said "abuse". I have never realized this. I knew it felt demeaning and scary (after all I have done for this kid lol) but didn't put it together with being abusive and that I deserve both "peace: and solitude" as you both said. This morning I was losing my courage (it's cold out...I will take him closer to warm weather....I still have to call shelter and that opens at 10am and that's what time I start work...(although my boss has given me freedom to take any day I need to do this.). Your words and feeling the sun shining behind me as I write (plus I have a friend willing to help me today take him) is helping me move an inch forward. I wrote out the pros and cons last night and this is what I realized....if I take him he may have opportunity (if he chooses the path presented him); I will have relief (he won't die inside my home) yet there still will be feelings of loss and fear or.....I can go on with this fantasy that is actually an unhealthy/hateful dependency which leaves him stuck in bed and no opportunity to grow. I love my son and want a life for him and have tried everything. This appears to be the last outstretched hand of opportunity. I am scared but i know it is the right thing. Thank you so much for listening. [/QUOTE]
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