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<blockquote data-quote="Sumsky" data-source="post: 741505" data-attributes="member: 22893"><p>We have completed the cognitive testing. We will now have those results on November 5th. Therapist and case manager are telling us that the doctor that provides this testing is very good. Therapists are feeling that there are one of two things going in with SS. Either he is mildly autistic or has a personality disorder. I was dumbfounded when they said that because they seem like polar opposite to me. After discussing this with them, they explained that they are just not sure is he really just doesn’t get the magnitude of the situation or if he really doesn’t care. If he just ‘plays’ the innocent or if he really is the innocent. There are times that you talk to SS and it seems like he doesn’t understand but at others times it seems you can get through to him. He honestly does not understand emotions. When asked how he thinks someone feels about something all he says are the words, like sad, angry, etc. he can’t describe those feelings. </p><p></p><p>My honest opinion is that he has antisocial and/or narcissistic personality disorder. I think he is a master manipulator. I think he holds himself and his wants above everyone else and he will get what he wants without regard to anyone else. </p><p></p><p>That being said, I think these last few days, weeks if not months have proven that. I do think he is at a breaking point. He is in a situation now that he is caught and has no where to turn to get out of it so he’s panicking. We learned last night that he threw the headphones off a bridge so he wouldn’t get caught with them. And he knows that the family bailed him out by paying for the headphones so he won’t deal with the police. So now he is calm again and is acting like it didn’t even happen. He got physically aggressive with his father and pushed him down the steps(father caught himself before he fell far) but he was also in his face screaming at him and trying to get him to hit him. Therapist were there right after this and SS calmed down and told them he was sorry, but then proceeded to tell family members that his dad really disappointed him because now he’s acting just like I do. This is the first that my husband has actually stood up to him and didn’t give him the benefit of doubt. He wouldn’t let him out of his sight to manipulate the situation. And SS lost all control. SS blames me for not being loving and caring towards him. That he’s had a hard life because he sees me being ‘motherly’ towards my children but not him. He is not wrong when he says that. However, he does not see that he created that. I have been his scape goat for a very long time. I tried for years and after awhile just shut down emotionally from him.</p><p></p><p>All in all, we are waiting for the meeting with CYS and meet with the therapists again on Tuesday. Husband still thinks he has the say on if SS goes to inpatient or not. I don’t think that is the case. Therapists feel 100% that he HAS to go to inpatient. SS is finding too many loopholes in our plan and family members are enabling him. And he can’t be in our home so there are no other options. And the escalation while in therapy is happening. </p><p></p><p>Husband and I had plans to go to Cancun for a week in November before all this came to light and we are so undecided now. On one hand we NEED it, but one the other he is our responsibility and this is NOT good timing. </p><p></p><p>I pray he goes to inpatient not only for his benefit but for ALL of us. We ALL need to heal. We ALL need the separation to work on ourselves and the whole family. SS needs more intensive help and 24/7 supervision than we can provide. I don’t know if inpatient will help but I do know that what we are doing is not helping. So we have to do something else.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sumsky, post: 741505, member: 22893"] We have completed the cognitive testing. We will now have those results on November 5th. Therapist and case manager are telling us that the doctor that provides this testing is very good. Therapists are feeling that there are one of two things going in with SS. Either he is mildly autistic or has a personality disorder. I was dumbfounded when they said that because they seem like polar opposite to me. After discussing this with them, they explained that they are just not sure is he really just doesn’t get the magnitude of the situation or if he really doesn’t care. If he just ‘plays’ the innocent or if he really is the innocent. There are times that you talk to SS and it seems like he doesn’t understand but at others times it seems you can get through to him. He honestly does not understand emotions. When asked how he thinks someone feels about something all he says are the words, like sad, angry, etc. he can’t describe those feelings. My honest opinion is that he has antisocial and/or narcissistic personality disorder. I think he is a master manipulator. I think he holds himself and his wants above everyone else and he will get what he wants without regard to anyone else. That being said, I think these last few days, weeks if not months have proven that. I do think he is at a breaking point. He is in a situation now that he is caught and has no where to turn to get out of it so he’s panicking. We learned last night that he threw the headphones off a bridge so he wouldn’t get caught with them. And he knows that the family bailed him out by paying for the headphones so he won’t deal with the police. So now he is calm again and is acting like it didn’t even happen. He got physically aggressive with his father and pushed him down the steps(father caught himself before he fell far) but he was also in his face screaming at him and trying to get him to hit him. Therapist were there right after this and SS calmed down and told them he was sorry, but then proceeded to tell family members that his dad really disappointed him because now he’s acting just like I do. This is the first that my husband has actually stood up to him and didn’t give him the benefit of doubt. He wouldn’t let him out of his sight to manipulate the situation. And SS lost all control. SS blames me for not being loving and caring towards him. That he’s had a hard life because he sees me being ‘motherly’ towards my children but not him. He is not wrong when he says that. However, he does not see that he created that. I have been his scape goat for a very long time. I tried for years and after awhile just shut down emotionally from him. All in all, we are waiting for the meeting with CYS and meet with the therapists again on Tuesday. Husband still thinks he has the say on if SS goes to inpatient or not. I don’t think that is the case. Therapists feel 100% that he HAS to go to inpatient. SS is finding too many loopholes in our plan and family members are enabling him. And he can’t be in our home so there are no other options. And the escalation while in therapy is happening. Husband and I had plans to go to Cancun for a week in November before all this came to light and we are so undecided now. On one hand we NEED it, but one the other he is our responsibility and this is NOT good timing. I pray he goes to inpatient not only for his benefit but for ALL of us. We ALL need to heal. We ALL need the separation to work on ourselves and the whole family. SS needs more intensive help and 24/7 supervision than we can provide. I don’t know if inpatient will help but I do know that what we are doing is not helping. So we have to do something else. [/QUOTE]
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