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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 18966" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>One of the critical points to learn about helping a difficult childen-and this is especially true with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids--is that you must learn to see things from their perspective. That means if he's grumpy about something that there usually is a good reason from HIS point of view. The whole anger may have no justification in your eyes but to him it's still very real and now the source of his anger is invading his safe territory on top of missing out on something he really wanted to do. Personally if it were me I would let my son opt for dinner in his room and stick in the portable VHS player. If what was going on in the rest of the house was fun enough half way through he'd probably give it up and join us, especially if dessert was involved. The one thing I wouldn't do is to place any demands on him beyond the usual expectations--wouldn't demand he come out, open his room up to kids, etc--make it seem like no big deal and it will usually blow over a lot sooner.</p><p></p><p>Even my easy child kiddo was making plans with friends for a few years without clearing it with mom. It just takes awhile for it to sink in. When this episode has passed drill it into his head on Friday mornings so he knows the expectation in advance: "If you and T want to think of something to do this weekend, that's fine, but the moms will have to talk." </p><p></p><p>We lived with Chronic Crankiness Syndrome from about age 4-9 when it started to subside. We still see some of it but nothing like those early years. Several things were key here: we addressed all of difficult children issue head on through therapy, adaptations at school, etc. We started implementing strategies like The Explosive Child and easing up on a lot of things. Really what those have done together was give my difficult child the space and in some cases the skills to develop what he didn't develop naturally along the way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 18966, member: 701"] One of the critical points to learn about helping a difficult childen-and this is especially true with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids--is that you must learn to see things from their perspective. That means if he's grumpy about something that there usually is a good reason from HIS point of view. The whole anger may have no justification in your eyes but to him it's still very real and now the source of his anger is invading his safe territory on top of missing out on something he really wanted to do. Personally if it were me I would let my son opt for dinner in his room and stick in the portable VHS player. If what was going on in the rest of the house was fun enough half way through he'd probably give it up and join us, especially if dessert was involved. The one thing I wouldn't do is to place any demands on him beyond the usual expectations--wouldn't demand he come out, open his room up to kids, etc--make it seem like no big deal and it will usually blow over a lot sooner. Even my easy child kiddo was making plans with friends for a few years without clearing it with mom. It just takes awhile for it to sink in. When this episode has passed drill it into his head on Friday mornings so he knows the expectation in advance: "If you and T want to think of something to do this weekend, that's fine, but the moms will have to talk." We lived with Chronic Crankiness Syndrome from about age 4-9 when it started to subside. We still see some of it but nothing like those early years. Several things were key here: we addressed all of difficult children issue head on through therapy, adaptations at school, etc. We started implementing strategies like The Explosive Child and easing up on a lot of things. Really what those have done together was give my difficult child the space and in some cases the skills to develop what he didn't develop naturally along the way. [/QUOTE]
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