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new step parent uhg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 394480" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>medeafair,</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry that this situation is causing strain for your family.</p><p></p><p>You know, I'm divorced and not remarried so the whole step family situation is not one I can speak to (other than that my kids do have a step mom but she is almost a peer, she is so young, so they don't even look at her in that stepmom light). </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>All children are different and handle divorce and the remarriage of their parents differently. Your daughter's reaction has nothing to do with how your step daughter will do. They are two different people and it seems clear that no one really knows why. Is biomom supportive of her visits? Do she and husband have an amicable relationship? The root could be there. Or it could be something else altogether.</p><p></p><p>Let me ask you, his daughter is 15, she has her group of friends, her room, her "comfort zone" and you guys expect her to drop and leave that all behind and come 6 hours to dad's house? Don't you think it is natural that she would want dad to come to her, perhaps having some undivided attention with her father in her own space? Perhaps husband needs to go to her a few times. Perhaps she will see his willingness to come to her and recognize how much he loves her. Perhaps they will open up and talk to each other about the situation and it will get better.</p><p></p><p>I think having husband away to visit with his daughter is worth the time without him. His daughter needs to be a priority in his life and he needs to find out what is going on. There is no other way to do it than to spend some quality time with her in a place where she is comfortable.</p><p></p><p>Having said all that (!), I am assuming here that your stepdaughter is a typical teenager - in other words, no real issues like the ones that most of our kids here deal with - adhd, bipolar, depression, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), etc. If there is the presence of any of these, the situation may need to be handled with the assistance of her therapist or psychiatrist. This board is dedicated to providing support and information to parents whose children struggle with emotional and behavioral (among others) issues. Sometimes kid gloves are called for.</p><p></p><p>I hope you all can work together to bring the family into harmony.</p><p></p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 394480, member: 805"] medeafair, I'm sorry that this situation is causing strain for your family. You know, I'm divorced and not remarried so the whole step family situation is not one I can speak to (other than that my kids do have a step mom but she is almost a peer, she is so young, so they don't even look at her in that stepmom light). All children are different and handle divorce and the remarriage of their parents differently. Your daughter's reaction has nothing to do with how your step daughter will do. They are two different people and it seems clear that no one really knows why. Is biomom supportive of her visits? Do she and husband have an amicable relationship? The root could be there. Or it could be something else altogether. Let me ask you, his daughter is 15, she has her group of friends, her room, her "comfort zone" and you guys expect her to drop and leave that all behind and come 6 hours to dad's house? Don't you think it is natural that she would want dad to come to her, perhaps having some undivided attention with her father in her own space? Perhaps husband needs to go to her a few times. Perhaps she will see his willingness to come to her and recognize how much he loves her. Perhaps they will open up and talk to each other about the situation and it will get better. I think having husband away to visit with his daughter is worth the time without him. His daughter needs to be a priority in his life and he needs to find out what is going on. There is no other way to do it than to spend some quality time with her in a place where she is comfortable. Having said all that (!), I am assuming here that your stepdaughter is a typical teenager - in other words, no real issues like the ones that most of our kids here deal with - adhd, bipolar, depression, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), etc. If there is the presence of any of these, the situation may need to be handled with the assistance of her therapist or psychiatrist. This board is dedicated to providing support and information to parents whose children struggle with emotional and behavioral (among others) issues. Sometimes kid gloves are called for. I hope you all can work together to bring the family into harmony. Sharon [/QUOTE]
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