Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
new step parent uhg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 394502" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Although my steps lived in the same big town (no commute needed) one of the girls in particular was not a happy camper</p><p>about visiting our home...the other two rolled with it and bonded quickly. Since all six were teens there were alot of different views. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/surprise.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":surprise:" title="surprise :surprise:" data-shortname=":surprise:" /></p><p> </p><p>It worked out for us by husband and I stressing that his relationship with his children was a priority. husband asked for input on what seemed fair to them and what was most important to them. Obviously all kids want their Daddy to themselves even when the first marriage is intact! I would suggest that he go visit her (without frequent interuptions via text or email from your</p><p>home) and have that type of conversation. Let her explain why. Sometimes we just don't know what is in our kids heads.</p><p>Understatement.</p><p> </p><p>Then because she knows he loves her and because she also loves him...a compromise should come about. It may just be that she wants to stay near her friends. It may be that she can't stand him living a life with you and your daughter. It may just be a power play. It may be because of her Mom. Let him find out, address her concerns and <strong>then </strong>emphasize that each of them needs to respect the other's needs. One way trips is not a fair burden. She does not have to love you all but</p><p>she must respect you.</p><p> </p><p>I'd suggest an initial one way trip to establish a workable pattern. Even teens should know what is fair. She wouldn't expect her friends to always come to her house...same goes for loved ones. It's a hairy situation but I'm betting it can be</p><p>resolved fairly unless your husband gets sucked into a guilt trip. Daddy often does go overboard to avoid guilt...even when there is no actual reason to feel guilty! Sigh! Best of luck. DDD</p><p> </p><p>PS: When the steps came to our house they spent the whole day with their Dad. They played tennis or golf. Sometimes they did picnics. They had him all to themselves and then we all were together for dinner and the evening. It was good for all of us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 394502, member: 35"] Although my steps lived in the same big town (no commute needed) one of the girls in particular was not a happy camper about visiting our home...the other two rolled with it and bonded quickly. Since all six were teens there were alot of different views. :surprise: It worked out for us by husband and I stressing that his relationship with his children was a priority. husband asked for input on what seemed fair to them and what was most important to them. Obviously all kids want their Daddy to themselves even when the first marriage is intact! I would suggest that he go visit her (without frequent interuptions via text or email from your home) and have that type of conversation. Let her explain why. Sometimes we just don't know what is in our kids heads. Understatement. Then because she knows he loves her and because she also loves him...a compromise should come about. It may just be that she wants to stay near her friends. It may be that she can't stand him living a life with you and your daughter. It may just be a power play. It may be because of her Mom. Let him find out, address her concerns and [B]then [/B]emphasize that each of them needs to respect the other's needs. One way trips is not a fair burden. She does not have to love you all but she must respect you. I'd suggest an initial one way trip to establish a workable pattern. Even teens should know what is fair. She wouldn't expect her friends to always come to her house...same goes for loved ones. It's a hairy situation but I'm betting it can be resolved fairly unless your husband gets sucked into a guilt trip. Daddy often does go overboard to avoid guilt...even when there is no actual reason to feel guilty! Sigh! Best of luck. DDD PS: When the steps came to our house they spent the whole day with their Dad. They played tennis or golf. Sometimes they did picnics. They had him all to themselves and then we all were together for dinner and the evening. It was good for all of us. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
new step parent uhg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Top