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new step parent uhg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 394643" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I agree with Giselle.</p><p></p><p>I divorced and remarried several years later. I wanted the divorce for various reasons and the kids knew it and were not at all interested in mom marrying somebody else and were not willing to accept my husband. Any authority he tried to show was rejected with "You're not my father." Nothing changed it. My hub stepped back and me and ex parented the kids together by phone. Once hub began "friend only" it got better, but it didn't really improve until they were adults. I had to learn that it was not their problem, it was our problem. WE divorced; the kids didn't want us to. Then *I* got remarried. The kids didn't pick him, I did. Being teens I can only imagine how hey felt when we went to bed together...to them, that was reserved for their father and me (one of my kids who is now grown told me this). Two of my three kids were teens when I remarried. One was eight...she took it the hardest, but they all did.</p><p></p><p>Let her have all the time she needs. This isn't about you; it's about the child having to see her parents split up and then decide to marry somebody else. I would not give your hub a hard time. This is something you both should have realized could have happened. What worked for us was patience and for ex to step back and not try to play a parental role. Now everyone gets along well. But it took looking at it through their eyes. </p><p></p><p>Good luck <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 394643, member: 1550"] I agree with Giselle. I divorced and remarried several years later. I wanted the divorce for various reasons and the kids knew it and were not at all interested in mom marrying somebody else and were not willing to accept my husband. Any authority he tried to show was rejected with "You're not my father." Nothing changed it. My hub stepped back and me and ex parented the kids together by phone. Once hub began "friend only" it got better, but it didn't really improve until they were adults. I had to learn that it was not their problem, it was our problem. WE divorced; the kids didn't want us to. Then *I* got remarried. The kids didn't pick him, I did. Being teens I can only imagine how hey felt when we went to bed together...to them, that was reserved for their father and me (one of my kids who is now grown told me this). Two of my three kids were teens when I remarried. One was eight...she took it the hardest, but they all did. Let her have all the time she needs. This isn't about you; it's about the child having to see her parents split up and then decide to marry somebody else. I would not give your hub a hard time. This is something you both should have realized could have happened. What worked for us was patience and for ex to step back and not try to play a parental role. Now everyone gets along well. But it took looking at it through their eyes. Good luck :) [/QUOTE]
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