I am new to the forum and found reading the early childhood threads really helpful. I would be grateful for any ideas about my challenging 5 year old son. A quick history: He has trouble forming peer relationships. He has a low frustration tolerance. He gets disorganized in transitions, e.g., acts out when I get home from work (making messes, running out of the house, grabbing something from his brother); acts out at school when transitioning from one activity to the next; regressed majorly (had accidents, exhibited rigid behavior, had epic meltdowns over tiny things) in the transition from school to summer and to a new summer camp. We have had him observed in school and evaluated several times: by an Occupational Therapist (OT)/therapist, by a developmental pediatrician, by the early intervention group in our school district. In his evaluations, Aspergers has been discussed but not diagnosed: On the one hand, he exhibits the rigidity, lack of empathy, and challenges with peer relationships associated with Aspergers. On the other hand, he does not have obsessive interests or encyclopedic knowledge about any particular thing; his interests are broad; he makes good eye contact; he engages quickly and warmly with most adults, mainly has trouble with peers. Early on (age 3-4) he had some motor skills and motor planning deficits that were addressed by Occupational Therapist (OT), and he's doing pretty well in these areas now. I think there may be some remaining sensory processing pieces: e.g, he seeks sensory input/some stomp and crash behavior, he is a messy eater and doesn't really notice his messy face, he doesn't get dizzy, lacks body awareness/is clumsy, will sometimes get into impulsive "grab everything" mode, seems to be calmed by heavy labor such as raking or carrying groceries. The newest challenges are the ones that I'm struggling with the most. He has started to exhibit impulsive, and oppositional defiant behavior, which have me completely at a loss. My A-game doesn't work anymore, and I'm just feeling desperate. Last night was a good example. He got upset about something small (a control issue - he had wanted to surprise me, but I saw what he was doing and he got upset). I said, "I'll bet you can think of another way to surprise me" and I took his 3 year old brother up to bath. Then, my older son came up and threw toys into the bath and laughed maniacally. I tried not the rise to the bait and said "You found a way to surprise me after all." Then, he proceeded to throw dirty washcloths, underwear, toilet paper into the bath. He was acting fast. I tried to calmly stop him and say, please don't. I got in his way and asked him calmly what he was planning to do. He said he was planning to get into the bath. Then he went back to throwing more things into the bath. Things continued this way. He turned on a shower and a tap, banged on a computer, climbed on top of a tall dresser, etc. I have learned that when I get upset and yell that he just escalates his bad behavior, so I try my best to stay totally calm. But there are times that he just will not give up until I have lost my temper. It's like that's his whole objective. I don't get it, and I'm really unsure what strategy I should be using at these times. In his new kindergarten, he is sometimes cooperative but not always. When he decides not to listen, there is very little the teachers can do to get him to cooperate. The other day he climbed over a fence at the edge of school property and was defiant when asked to return. We have plans to work with psychologist individually with floortime therapy and to have him observed in school again. I'm really scared about his behavior getting worse and him getting in a deep hole. We are spending insane amounts of money trying to help him and figure him out, and I'm just not sure that what we're doing is making any difference. The last couple of evaluations didn't tell us anything we didn't already know, and a social communication group he participated in seemed pretty useless. Some of his recent behavior seems classic oppositional/defiant and he is definitely a child who wants to be in control. But the defiance comes and goes. He also loves to be helpful and has many days when he's really cooperative. His family situation is stable, but he is much more attached to me than to his father. He is pretty mean and rejecting to his father. His father tries but is not able to be as patient as I am. Over time, it's created some imbalance (something we're hoping the floortime therapy will help). He started a new school for kindergarten. It's a great school. Only 14 kids and 2 full-time experienced teachers. Still, I know that the transition to a new school is a challenge for him. Any suggestions about dealing with the intermittent oppositional defiant and impulsive behavior? The loss of self regulation? Up until recently, I felt like I could always manage my son one-on-one but now I feel like even under optimum conditions things can be touch and go. I am out of ideas and a little panicked. Any thoughts would be much appreciated!!!!