Roxona
Active Member
Hi Everyone,
I've been reading off and on for a while, but really haven't been too involved with this community, but today I need to make a big decision.
My son is a substance abuser. I believed he started in his mid-teens, but things didn't really start cooking until he turned 18. I bought him his first vehicle, and he quickly lost his mind from the freedom and the increased opportunities for drug use. My son's drug of choice was pot, but quickly became meth.
After he graduated he started to become more and more agitated, and he started raging every time he was confronted. Finally, after he refused to handle his problem, my husband (his stepdad) kicked him out of the house. That day my son decided to go to inpatient rehab for 35 days. When he got back in August, things were much better. I got him a job through a friend, and he started working full time. We sold his truck (because it was a trigger) and bought him a car, which we will pay off many, many years from now. He opened up to me and told me things that happened to him during the last couple of years. Some of it involves my family and is so heartbreaking, I can hardly bear it. He was involved heavily with dealing and has been involved with the law in various incidents. I helped him with the first one because it involved felony charges (and will be paying for it for years), but have not helped with him with any of the others. All charges have been dismissed.
On 02/03 he quit his job. While he was working he was paying his car note and insurance. Now he will not be able to do that. He owes me money for having maintenance done to the car, for gas and for a few other incidentals. I helped him do his taxes, and he was to pay off a lot of what he owed.
Today, he is agitated, his brain is scrambled and is exhibiting a lot of the same symptoms he had prior to going to rehab. I confronted him. He admits to smoking pot, but denies meth. I don't believe him. His face is gaunt, and he has new acne. He says he received his state refund, but not his federal refund. He still has not found a job, and I do not believe he is actually putting in any new applications in the last week. We discussed options for going to trade school and he rejected every option. After he left me exasperated, I logged into the checking account we share...he has received both refunds and has blown through all the money in just a few short days. He lied to me...again.
So, here comes the hard part. What to do? I know I have to take away the car, and stop giving him money, but what do I do after that? I have a hard time kicking him out of the house because he has no where to go, and anyone that would take him in will probably only be a bad influence. I am his only support system. If I give up on him, he will most likely give up on himself completely.
So, please, if you have any ideas or suggestions or support....or even a cure...I would very much appreciate it.
Thanks,
Roxona
I've been reading off and on for a while, but really haven't been too involved with this community, but today I need to make a big decision.
My son is a substance abuser. I believed he started in his mid-teens, but things didn't really start cooking until he turned 18. I bought him his first vehicle, and he quickly lost his mind from the freedom and the increased opportunities for drug use. My son's drug of choice was pot, but quickly became meth.
After he graduated he started to become more and more agitated, and he started raging every time he was confronted. Finally, after he refused to handle his problem, my husband (his stepdad) kicked him out of the house. That day my son decided to go to inpatient rehab for 35 days. When he got back in August, things were much better. I got him a job through a friend, and he started working full time. We sold his truck (because it was a trigger) and bought him a car, which we will pay off many, many years from now. He opened up to me and told me things that happened to him during the last couple of years. Some of it involves my family and is so heartbreaking, I can hardly bear it. He was involved heavily with dealing and has been involved with the law in various incidents. I helped him with the first one because it involved felony charges (and will be paying for it for years), but have not helped with him with any of the others. All charges have been dismissed.
On 02/03 he quit his job. While he was working he was paying his car note and insurance. Now he will not be able to do that. He owes me money for having maintenance done to the car, for gas and for a few other incidentals. I helped him do his taxes, and he was to pay off a lot of what he owed.
Today, he is agitated, his brain is scrambled and is exhibiting a lot of the same symptoms he had prior to going to rehab. I confronted him. He admits to smoking pot, but denies meth. I don't believe him. His face is gaunt, and he has new acne. He says he received his state refund, but not his federal refund. He still has not found a job, and I do not believe he is actually putting in any new applications in the last week. We discussed options for going to trade school and he rejected every option. After he left me exasperated, I logged into the checking account we share...he has received both refunds and has blown through all the money in just a few short days. He lied to me...again.
So, here comes the hard part. What to do? I know I have to take away the car, and stop giving him money, but what do I do after that? I have a hard time kicking him out of the house because he has no where to go, and anyone that would take him in will probably only be a bad influence. I am his only support system. If I give up on him, he will most likely give up on himself completely.
So, please, if you have any ideas or suggestions or support....or even a cure...I would very much appreciate it.
Thanks,
Roxona