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Substance Abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 621992" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I think we can be done, AM, and still have deep and ongoing pain over it. It is still so sad and hard and we will still grieve. We just want(ed) them to have such a great life. That is really all we ever wanted for them. </p><p></p><p>We love our children so much, no matter how old they are. My mother and I talk about that. She is 81 and I am 57. She said that your child is still your child no matter how old they are, and when they hurt, you hurt.</p><p></p><p>She has been very supportive of me throughout all of this. When we talk on the phone, she always asks about difficult child, her grandson, of course. Then she will say: Well, honey, whatever you have to do to take care of yourself. I'm just glad you are doing okay. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes we are both just silent, having just said the update of what is going on with difficult child, and sitting with the sheer horror and unbelievability of it all.</p><p></p><p>When all of this first began, I called her often and she was a great sounding board. But after a while, I believe it was too hard on her, and I needed to stop with all of the details, my uncontrollable sobbing to her, etc. She was having to deal with me and her grandson---and all of that pain.</p><p></p><p>I don't withhold from her, she is a very strong person, but I don't call her constantly with every little thing. I don't have to anymore. I am so much better than I was because of the hard, hard work I am doing.</p><p></p><p>I told one of my friends the other day that I have to spend at least an hour a day on my recovery to remain functional. That has become a priority in my life, along with exercise, grad school (just one class at a time!), my business and my SO. I also have lots of friends that I would like to see more often than I do, but it's hard. I do have several who I keep in weekly contact with.</p><p></p><p>I am thinking of you. I am hoping that the therapy is going well for you, you are going to Al-Anon and you come here as often as you would like to. I am praying for you. I wish you all the very best as you walk this hard road. Hugs and prayers and blessings from me to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 621992, member: 17542"] I think we can be done, AM, and still have deep and ongoing pain over it. It is still so sad and hard and we will still grieve. We just want(ed) them to have such a great life. That is really all we ever wanted for them. We love our children so much, no matter how old they are. My mother and I talk about that. She is 81 and I am 57. She said that your child is still your child no matter how old they are, and when they hurt, you hurt. She has been very supportive of me throughout all of this. When we talk on the phone, she always asks about difficult child, her grandson, of course. Then she will say: Well, honey, whatever you have to do to take care of yourself. I'm just glad you are doing okay. Sometimes we are both just silent, having just said the update of what is going on with difficult child, and sitting with the sheer horror and unbelievability of it all. When all of this first began, I called her often and she was a great sounding board. But after a while, I believe it was too hard on her, and I needed to stop with all of the details, my uncontrollable sobbing to her, etc. She was having to deal with me and her grandson---and all of that pain. I don't withhold from her, she is a very strong person, but I don't call her constantly with every little thing. I don't have to anymore. I am so much better than I was because of the hard, hard work I am doing. I told one of my friends the other day that I have to spend at least an hour a day on my recovery to remain functional. That has become a priority in my life, along with exercise, grad school (just one class at a time!), my business and my SO. I also have lots of friends that I would like to see more often than I do, but it's hard. I do have several who I keep in weekly contact with. I am thinking of you. I am hoping that the therapy is going well for you, you are going to Al-Anon and you come here as often as you would like to. I am praying for you. I wish you all the very best as you walk this hard road. Hugs and prayers and blessings from me to you. [/QUOTE]
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