Hi, I am a 71 yo mother to a 52 yo difficult child. I have been on this ride since he was in his teens. I can't tell you how many rehabs he's been in. I think the longest he has had clean is "maybe" a year and most of that was because he was in jail at the time. He just got out of jail a few months ago and was going to AA nightly and seemed to be on track. He has no drivers license because of his last dui (which is why he was in jail). He asked me if he could live with me for a week or so until he could get an apartment with a friend. He ended up being here for about 2 months and there was no sign of relapse until a couple of weeks ago when one night he had an angry outburst at me over a disagreement. The anger didn't match the disagreement, so my antennae went up. He calmed down and we had a talk the next day and he apologized and things seemed to be back to normal. Since he's gotten older, I actually enjoy his company when he's around. He helps me do things I can't do now that I've gotten older. Well, the ugly face of addiction raised it's ugly head again Sunday night....when he had another angry outburst. He stayed up all night eating, cooking...basically trashing my house. Monday morning he was so intoxicated on something (not alcohol) he could hardly talk straight. He was very mean and threatening to me, calling me ugly names, throwing coffee toward me, etc. For the first time in my life I became frightened of him. After trying to call his sponsor and friends with no luck, I had to call the police. It broke my heart. I've never had to do this in all the years I've been going through this. The police came and took him to jail. They saw coffee spilled all over the floor and other things and after questioning me, they are charging him with "simple assault". I know I did the right thing.....I've been to so many Alanon meetings and know all the tough love rules.....but I'm getting older and for some reason I don't have the strength I used to have. I decided I needed to go for personal therapy which I have never done and have my first appointment tomorrow. I started searching for help online and found this board and have been reading all your posts, and it's helped, but my heart is still hurting. Hate reading about you younger mothers because I was there with him when he was a teen, and this disease of addiction doesn't go away. Sorry to sound so depressing, but I am feeling depressed right now.