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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 124972" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, I'm an old-bee and have been on the difficult child cycle since my daughter took drugs at twelve (she is now twenty-three) so I've had a bit of experience. Plus I have mental health issues myself, being both on the mood disorder spectrum and having some serious neurological deficits, which affect my impulse control. Welcome aboard <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>First off, it is usually children over 18 who are diagnosed with CD. That's a very serious diagnosis with a poor prognosis, usually due to UNTREATED mental illness. I would NOT trust that diagnosis. If possible, I would have him re-evaluated and take him to the Top Dogs--either a neuropsychologist (they are awesome--tested my son in every way for twelve hours) or, as a second choice) a Psychiatrist (with the MD). Psychologists and therapists and social workers, in my long, long experience with them, just do not tend to nail the right diagnosis. Without the right diagnosis., the child doesn't get the right treatment and sometimes is put on the wrong medications or no medications at all. Also, sometimes our "bad" kids are seriously mentally ill. I have a few questions, and this would include his birthmother as well as your husband:</p><p>1/Are there are psychiatric or neurological disorders on the family tree? Any substance abuse (which is a huge red flag for untreated bipolar/depression).</p><p>2/How was his early development as far as speech, langauge, socialization, eye contact, etc. Does he have appropriate friends?</p><p>3/Are you 100&#37; sure he isn't abusing drugs? THAT really affects behavior. </p><p>From what I see here, and this is NOT a criticism to you, step-parents tend to be harder on the kids than bio. parents. I think that's natural--my hub started out a step to my kids and he didn't love them like I did at first (he has since grown to love them). </p><p>Rather than approach this from "He's a horrible stepkid" I'd approach it as "He's a seriously ill child and needs help before he gets too old and his dad and I can't help him anymore." And I'd take it from there. Welcome again <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 124972, member: 1550"] Well, I'm an old-bee and have been on the difficult child cycle since my daughter took drugs at twelve (she is now twenty-three) so I've had a bit of experience. Plus I have mental health issues myself, being both on the mood disorder spectrum and having some serious neurological deficits, which affect my impulse control. Welcome aboard :) First off, it is usually children over 18 who are diagnosed with CD. That's a very serious diagnosis with a poor prognosis, usually due to UNTREATED mental illness. I would NOT trust that diagnosis. If possible, I would have him re-evaluated and take him to the Top Dogs--either a neuropsychologist (they are awesome--tested my son in every way for twelve hours) or, as a second choice) a Psychiatrist (with the MD). Psychologists and therapists and social workers, in my long, long experience with them, just do not tend to nail the right diagnosis. Without the right diagnosis., the child doesn't get the right treatment and sometimes is put on the wrong medications or no medications at all. Also, sometimes our "bad" kids are seriously mentally ill. I have a few questions, and this would include his birthmother as well as your husband: 1/Are there are psychiatric or neurological disorders on the family tree? Any substance abuse (which is a huge red flag for untreated bipolar/depression). 2/How was his early development as far as speech, langauge, socialization, eye contact, etc. Does he have appropriate friends? 3/Are you 100% sure he isn't abusing drugs? THAT really affects behavior. From what I see here, and this is NOT a criticism to you, step-parents tend to be harder on the kids than bio. parents. I think that's natural--my hub started out a step to my kids and he didn't love them like I did at first (he has since grown to love them). Rather than approach this from "He's a horrible stepkid" I'd approach it as "He's a seriously ill child and needs help before he gets too old and his dad and I can't help him anymore." And I'd take it from there. Welcome again :) [/QUOTE]
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