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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 96313" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'd re-evaluate him through a private neuropsychologist. We've dealt with the foster care system (and adopted a child) and a social worker told us in confidence that the kids are normally dxd. with ADHD because it's easier to find homes for them than if they have harsher sounding labels. Not helpful, in my opinion, but my little guy was ADHD too (only he's not--he's on the autism spectrum). Also, if the kids were exposed to alcohol in utero there is a good chance they are victims of fetal alcohol spectrum--which can mean the entire Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) to just minimal brain damage that impairs their ability to learn and to know right from wrong. They keep making the same bad choices because they really don't "get" cause and effect. I was also told that over 90% of all kids in foster care were sexually abused at some point in time, either in their biological home or in foster care. That STAGGERED me, but experienced adoptive parents tended to agree with her. And we had one seven year old who had been so severely sexually abused in his prior FOSTER home that he was seriously terrified of us. He never told on his foster mom either. He didn't believe anyone would believe him or help him. Urinating in the pants is a big red flag for sexual abuse as is either acting out sexually on others or accusing somebody falsely of abusing them (just for the record). </p><p>There are also attachment issues sometimes. Have they been in many homes before yours? Have you had them long? Sounds like, for the most part, they are doing remarkably well, however they do have each other, and, if you just got them, could be the honeymoon...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 96313, member: 1550"] I'd re-evaluate him through a private neuropsychologist. We've dealt with the foster care system (and adopted a child) and a social worker told us in confidence that the kids are normally dxd. with ADHD because it's easier to find homes for them than if they have harsher sounding labels. Not helpful, in my opinion, but my little guy was ADHD too (only he's not--he's on the autism spectrum). Also, if the kids were exposed to alcohol in utero there is a good chance they are victims of fetal alcohol spectrum--which can mean the entire Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) to just minimal brain damage that impairs their ability to learn and to know right from wrong. They keep making the same bad choices because they really don't "get" cause and effect. I was also told that over 90% of all kids in foster care were sexually abused at some point in time, either in their biological home or in foster care. That STAGGERED me, but experienced adoptive parents tended to agree with her. And we had one seven year old who had been so severely sexually abused in his prior FOSTER home that he was seriously terrified of us. He never told on his foster mom either. He didn't believe anyone would believe him or help him. Urinating in the pants is a big red flag for sexual abuse as is either acting out sexually on others or accusing somebody falsely of abusing them (just for the record). There are also attachment issues sometimes. Have they been in many homes before yours? Have you had them long? Sounds like, for the most part, they are doing remarkably well, however they do have each other, and, if you just got them, could be the honeymoon... [/QUOTE]
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