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New to Setting Boundaries-What Do You Think?
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<blockquote data-quote="mamato3" data-source="post: 714399" data-attributes="member: 22015"><p>Yeah, that sounds like a better idea, DoneDad. With my other kids, one younger, one older, they are so compliant and respect my husband and I enough to listen to our advice. No, not all the time, but if my oldest son tells me he is having trouble sleeping, I have recommended exercising, no electronics a couple hours before bed, trying to stick to a better sleep schedule, among other things. He has tried various things to help himself. Difficult Child will not try. His response is, I can't sleep, there is nothing that can help me and I give up. Or he may try to exercise one day, not sleep that night and say exercise doesn't work for him. And I am not assuming, this is what he has told the therapist many times. He barely passed high school, yet is one of the smartest people I know. When the therapist asked him why his grades were so low, he was honest and said, if I don't think I will get a good grade, I just don't do it. If the content is too hard, I don't pay attention or even attempt the assignment. </p><p></p><p>All I am asking for is effort. I have told Difficult Child many times that he will likely take two steps forward and one step back. I have shared stories of when I have failed and how I wanted to give up, quit, but I knew it wasn't right or that I wanted more for myself so I struggled through until I got it. I have encouraged him to ask for help. From me, dad, brother, grandmother, grandfather, uncle, anyone. You don't understand calculus? Ok, your brother seemed to really grasp it, you may try working with him. Is it hard to ask for help, heck ya!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mamato3, post: 714399, member: 22015"] Yeah, that sounds like a better idea, DoneDad. With my other kids, one younger, one older, they are so compliant and respect my husband and I enough to listen to our advice. No, not all the time, but if my oldest son tells me he is having trouble sleeping, I have recommended exercising, no electronics a couple hours before bed, trying to stick to a better sleep schedule, among other things. He has tried various things to help himself. Difficult Child will not try. His response is, I can't sleep, there is nothing that can help me and I give up. Or he may try to exercise one day, not sleep that night and say exercise doesn't work for him. And I am not assuming, this is what he has told the therapist many times. He barely passed high school, yet is one of the smartest people I know. When the therapist asked him why his grades were so low, he was honest and said, if I don't think I will get a good grade, I just don't do it. If the content is too hard, I don't pay attention or even attempt the assignment. All I am asking for is effort. I have told Difficult Child many times that he will likely take two steps forward and one step back. I have shared stories of when I have failed and how I wanted to give up, quit, but I knew it wasn't right or that I wanted more for myself so I struggled through until I got it. I have encouraged him to ask for help. From me, dad, brother, grandmother, grandfather, uncle, anyone. You don't understand calculus? Ok, your brother seemed to really grasp it, you may try working with him. Is it hard to ask for help, heck ya! [/QUOTE]
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