I posted the other day about my difficult child and got some amazing responses. My difficult child (Difficult Child, 18), daughter (15), and I are on a quick get away visiting my younger brother. Brother doesn't have a lot of room so Difficult Child is staying with him and daughter and I are staying in a hotel nearby. And yes, the "break" from Difficult Child has been nice! We have all spent some time together each day doing something and it has been "fun". However, I have been in a total state of uncertainty while here because I have decided that I am ready to get serious about setting boundaries when we get home. I have tried to talk to Difficult Child about how things will be different. I 'think' he realizes things have to change, which he does seem to understand when he is in a good place, but he tried to tell me that we could discuss it when we got home. I didn't agree with that and he finally told me that he would clean his room (it's a constant mess and I keep a very clean and clutter free home) because he said it would be a more stress-free environment He also agreed to taking a different avenue for treatment. -We have an appointment with a new therapist that we were told would take 2-3 hours (the longest appointment Difficult Child has ever had and I am so hopeful that this will help with a more solid diagnosis). -We also have an appointment to have dna testing to check which medications are best for him. He is open to these things, at least right now he is. I am terrified, though, of the ride home. It's about 12 hours. On the ride here, he went through one of his rants because daughter and I took a few minutes too long in the restroom. I'm also scared about how things will be when we get home. He is good at lip service, manipulation. He needs to register for college or find a full time job, his choice. Says he will register for college. He needs to sign up for DUI classes due to a DUI nearly a year ago. He took the classes once already, but thought it was a good idea to miss one class and now he has to pay another $150 and spend another however many hours doing all the classes. The following are the boundaries I have started with, can you tell me your thoughts? None of them are new to Difficult Child, but I hope that seeing them in writing will help. Self-use treatment offered including medication, attend treatment and doctors' appointments, be open to seek new treatments if something isn't working, open/honest with self and doctors, eat meals daily, less sugar/candy, find and engage in hobby, show effort in all areas Excuses-depression (current diagnosis and his excuse 99% of the time) doesn't cause anger/disrespect, only you can do things to get better, effort is expected Sleep-monitor and work to make good sleeping habits, limit 'naps' (so much time is spent laying around in his room) Job-maintain, work all (and more if possible) scheduled shifts, look for new job starting in October (has seasonal job at a golf course that will end in November) Money-pay for car, insurance, what is owed Car-follow contract, respect-no speeding off, slamming doors, etc. Respect-no yelling/screaming at family members, no blaming, no hateful/rude texts House-respect house-no hitting walls, etc, clean up after self, chores with no complaints (he's used to yard week weekly, taking out trash, etc, but does complain about almost everything we ask of him) I realize that every situation is different. Just looking for input as this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.