He is a legal adult. You cant make him shape up. It is most assuredly HIS responsibility, not yours. How can it be your responsibility? It cant and isnt and what your mother, aunt, brother or kissing cousin thinks doesnt matter in this. They dont suffer. You and the rest of your family does.
What can you do to get peace? Many things. He doesnt have yo live with you anymore. At his age he could be serving our country. He is not twelve.
You will not have peace while he abuses you under your roof. Make no mistake about it. This is domestic abuse by your son. Sounds like it went on with his ex too but she left him wisely. You dont need to leave his life, but if you want any peace...you can not tolerate his domestic abuse. That means you will get no peace until he no longer lives with you. The rest of your family and you are living with an abusive young man and abuse affects everyone in the abusers path.
How can you have peace when he is in your space? You and the others can not.
