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Hi,

I am so happy to have found this site.  I am new to the site, but have been struggling for at least 15 years with my 30 year old son who oppositional, angry, and manipulative.  He has been incarcerated at least 4-5 times and is currently serving a year in state prison for dealing heroin.  I also have an adult daughter, who although doing well now, has had significant struggles over the years.  I have been in private therapy, 12 step, etc. and they have all helped me, but it is a slow process to learn how to detach, set boundaries, etc.  I have let FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt) as well as my son's intimidation cause me to enable and act against my better judgment.  I am learning how to practice self-care and to live my values, but I still fall down and doubt myself.  Things are even more complicated now because my son has a girlfriend and she just had a baby.  She and my son are always asking for support, a place to live, for me to bring his girlfriend and baby to visit in prison.  I have not done so, so far.  I am in my 60's, a high school teacher, with one son still in high school, and am exhausted by all that has happened.  My son is very entitled rather than grateful for my help.  I am learning to be stronger.  Although not directed to me, I found the posts I read to be like good friends supporting me with sage advice, comfort, and empathy.  Thanks so much.


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