Hi, I am so happy to have found this site. I am new to the site, but have been struggling for at least 15 years with my 30 year old son who oppositional, angry, and manipulative. He has been incarcerated at least 4-5 times and is currently serving a year in state prison for dealing heroin. I also have an adult daughter, who although doing well now, has had significant struggles over the years. I have been in private therapy, 12 step, etc. and they have all helped me, but it is a slow process to learn how to detach, set boundaries, etc. I have let FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt) as well as my son's intimidation cause me to enable and act against my better judgment. I am learning how to practice self-care and to live my values, but I still fall down and doubt myself. Things are even more complicated now because my son has a girlfriend and she just had a baby. She and my son are always asking for support, a place to live, for me to bring his girlfriend and baby to visit in prison. I have not done so, so far. I am in my 60's, a high school teacher, with one son still in high school, and am exhausted by all that has happened. My son is very entitled rather than grateful for my help. I am learning to be stronger. Although not directed to me, I found the posts I read to be like good friends supporting me with sage advice, comfort, and empathy. Thanks so much.