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Hi Acacia and Welcome


I like your user name, but I am very allergic.


You have been through a lot. You are working hard and doing very well, I think. Try to acknowledge to yourself how much you have changed. You seem, still, hard on yourself.


It is not easy to handle the older kids' issues, and still raise a younger one. And work, too.


I know how it is to feel used and disregarded by the child you have always loved.


I have only one son who is 27.


My son is doing a little bit better, but our relationship is largely painful and stressful to me. I do not know quite what to do.


I have pulled way back in terms of help. I really do not want him in my home or my town. Our main contact is phone calls. Mostly from him. Even by phone he acts aggressively towards me and expresses negative opinions about the ethnic group to which I belong. *He is adopted.


While in my heart I know he loves and respects me, for years now I have felt disrespected and dishonored by him.


Today I told him that I did not want to hear again any remarks about my ethnic group. He reacted aggressively. I got off the phone and would not answer it when he called back several times.


I do not know what to do. When you are forced to accept that your relationship with your child is a one way street, what do you do?  If you see that there have been years and years of disrespect and meanness, what do you do? 


Do I stop altogether any contact?


In a million years I would never have guessed I would contemplate such a thing.


I am wondering if it is correct for a parent to endure mistreatment by an adult child...Is it not irresponsible of the parent...to be a target?


Is that not enabling, too?


I am glad you are here. You are not alone. Keep posting. It helps.


COPA


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