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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 272740" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>You have painted a pretty good picture of a child who is wired differently. </p><p>The first and foremost issue is to have her seen and evaluated so that you can get to the bottom of what's going on. I do not believe they choose to be beligerant and uncooperative if they knew how. Potty training is often a big issue. I believe my difficult child just didn't get the connection between the sensation and the act of pottying. He wouldn't wipe. Why? if he did that, he would have to stop to wash his hands. So better to go and run out to play. Made perfect sense. </p><p></p><p>Kids who have a wide variance between their scoring on tests usually have some learning disabilities that work against them. None of this has anything to do with intelligence. Intelligence means she has what it takes to learn. Unfortunately different learners, learn differently and we typical people have no way of understanding how they learn or how to teach them to learn. It's the square peg in the round hole. </p><p></p><p>Your fiance is to be commended for trying hard to help. I must tell you if I knew what I know I would have ran very far, very fast from getting involved with a person who had a child like mine. He needs to know and understand that this is going to be a long term chronic problem that will probably get worse in adolescence before it gets better. If he is in it for the long haul then you are both stronger as a united force to advocate for your child. If he is going to be frustrated because nothing works then he will have to read other posts on this site. Warrior mom's and dad's are frustrated daily. We celebrate the small successes and despair at the failures but we get up every day, every week, every year to be the best parent we could be regardless of the positive reward to us. It's called love, committment, responsibility and parenting. There are amazing step parents on this site. It is a thankless job but they are doing better by their step children then many bio parents. There are also many step parents who end up pulling away and make things worse. If I were in your position I would present him with the possibilities and worse case scenarios so that he can make an informed decision. </p><p></p><p>Welcome to our crazy world. Hopefully we can share some of our experiences and offer support to help you on the path of parenting a difficult child. </p><p></p><p>One of my suggestions is start a parent report. It is found in the faq/board help forum. It's a good way to keep all your info connected and a wonderful way to present it to teachers and professionals. </p><p>Fran</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 272740, member: 3"] You have painted a pretty good picture of a child who is wired differently. The first and foremost issue is to have her seen and evaluated so that you can get to the bottom of what's going on. I do not believe they choose to be beligerant and uncooperative if they knew how. Potty training is often a big issue. I believe my difficult child just didn't get the connection between the sensation and the act of pottying. He wouldn't wipe. Why? if he did that, he would have to stop to wash his hands. So better to go and run out to play. Made perfect sense. Kids who have a wide variance between their scoring on tests usually have some learning disabilities that work against them. None of this has anything to do with intelligence. Intelligence means she has what it takes to learn. Unfortunately different learners, learn differently and we typical people have no way of understanding how they learn or how to teach them to learn. It's the square peg in the round hole. Your fiance is to be commended for trying hard to help. I must tell you if I knew what I know I would have ran very far, very fast from getting involved with a person who had a child like mine. He needs to know and understand that this is going to be a long term chronic problem that will probably get worse in adolescence before it gets better. If he is in it for the long haul then you are both stronger as a united force to advocate for your child. If he is going to be frustrated because nothing works then he will have to read other posts on this site. Warrior mom's and dad's are frustrated daily. We celebrate the small successes and despair at the failures but we get up every day, every week, every year to be the best parent we could be regardless of the positive reward to us. It's called love, committment, responsibility and parenting. There are amazing step parents on this site. It is a thankless job but they are doing better by their step children then many bio parents. There are also many step parents who end up pulling away and make things worse. If I were in your position I would present him with the possibilities and worse case scenarios so that he can make an informed decision. Welcome to our crazy world. Hopefully we can share some of our experiences and offer support to help you on the path of parenting a difficult child. One of my suggestions is start a parent report. It is found in the faq/board help forum. It's a good way to keep all your info connected and a wonderful way to present it to teachers and professionals. Fran [/QUOTE]
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