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New to the site, need help have a 5yr old with ADHD and Defiance disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="rlsnights" data-source="post: 417268" data-attributes="member: 7948"><p>Welcome and you sound like you are a really caring and committed guy. Congratulations.</p><p></p><p>Family therapy will be really helpful in clarifying some things and improving the family's well-being. You and your wife to be will have to be on the same page with parenting styles if you want a strong marriage and that can take a lot of education and on-the-job training that is stressful.</p><p></p><p>I strongly agree with the others who have suggested that this child needs further assessment to help you understand what is going on with him. Going through your health plan for a neuropsychologist assessment is a very good start.</p><p></p><p>And, frankly, lots of 5 year old boys hit other kids. I would want a lot more info about what was going on before I decided how strongly I was going to react. Not that it is wrong to make it clear the behavior was not OK. But the details are important. For example, there's a big difference between getting up and walking across the room and randomly socking a kid half your size so hard you knock them down and being in line for lunch and getting shoved over and over until you finally turn around and hit the kid behind you.</p><p></p><p>I would also suggest that, if he doesn't already have an IEP for Special Education services, that his mom request that he be assessed for special education services right away. It's nearly the end of the school year and it may be possible to get the school to do some assessment before year's end that will help to guide his school situation next fall or later this year if he's in a year-round school. I would insist that they do a thorough speech assessment. Kids who are on the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) spectrum often have language processing problems that will respond to intervention or that can be addressed through accommodation.</p><p></p><p>Gathering a biological family health tree that includes both physical and mental health info will be a useful tool for the neuropsychologist to review. Things to include are the obvious physical stuff but also any diagnosed or undiagnosed but suspected mental illness. If possible you want to go back 2 or 3 generations. Addictions like alcohol and drugs should be listed as these are often signs of untreated mental illness. </p><p></p><p>In the meantime, reading The Explosive Child together with your sweetie will help you figure out some practical things to put in place now.</p><p></p><p>If you suspect that the medications are making his behavior worse you need to discuss that with the doctor.</p><p></p><p>Keeping a behavior journal is really good because it gives you and the professionals solid info to use when trying to make sense of the day to day stuff. Noting his activity level, whether he took medications, changes in medications, rages, unusual events like a sleep over or illness, any mood issues you notice that seem unusual to you, any odd speech patterns, how much he's sleeping - all good stuff. Can help you discover patterns you didn't even know where there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rlsnights, post: 417268, member: 7948"] Welcome and you sound like you are a really caring and committed guy. Congratulations. Family therapy will be really helpful in clarifying some things and improving the family's well-being. You and your wife to be will have to be on the same page with parenting styles if you want a strong marriage and that can take a lot of education and on-the-job training that is stressful. I strongly agree with the others who have suggested that this child needs further assessment to help you understand what is going on with him. Going through your health plan for a neuropsychologist assessment is a very good start. And, frankly, lots of 5 year old boys hit other kids. I would want a lot more info about what was going on before I decided how strongly I was going to react. Not that it is wrong to make it clear the behavior was not OK. But the details are important. For example, there's a big difference between getting up and walking across the room and randomly socking a kid half your size so hard you knock them down and being in line for lunch and getting shoved over and over until you finally turn around and hit the kid behind you. I would also suggest that, if he doesn't already have an IEP for Special Education services, that his mom request that he be assessed for special education services right away. It's nearly the end of the school year and it may be possible to get the school to do some assessment before year's end that will help to guide his school situation next fall or later this year if he's in a year-round school. I would insist that they do a thorough speech assessment. Kids who are on the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) spectrum often have language processing problems that will respond to intervention or that can be addressed through accommodation. Gathering a biological family health tree that includes both physical and mental health info will be a useful tool for the neuropsychologist to review. Things to include are the obvious physical stuff but also any diagnosed or undiagnosed but suspected mental illness. If possible you want to go back 2 or 3 generations. Addictions like alcohol and drugs should be listed as these are often signs of untreated mental illness. In the meantime, reading The Explosive Child together with your sweetie will help you figure out some practical things to put in place now. If you suspect that the medications are making his behavior worse you need to discuss that with the doctor. Keeping a behavior journal is really good because it gives you and the professionals solid info to use when trying to make sense of the day to day stuff. Noting his activity level, whether he took medications, changes in medications, rages, unusual events like a sleep over or illness, any mood issues you notice that seem unusual to you, any odd speech patterns, how much he's sleeping - all good stuff. Can help you discover patterns you didn't even know where there. [/QUOTE]
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New to the site, need help have a 5yr old with ADHD and Defiance disorder
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