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New with an operational defiant teen
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 219244" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Welcome dawnmyst and I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. I say that because I understand better than I can describe to you what it feels like to live with that fear and anxiety. I have a 17 yo difficult child and while we go through short spurts of calm, most of the time things are very rocky at home. We have 6 more months and than I can honestly say I believe she will be living on the street. We have been successful so far in keeping her off drugs and alcohol (although she has experimented with both and gotten into legal trouble). She is getting good grades in school this year finally but the toll it has taken on our lives is immeasurable. Her defiance is never far from the surface and just last night she was out all afternoon/evening, came home at 9:15 and left again until 1am because we had turned off her texting due to her lying about her whereabouts. Today she announced that she will not be coming home after work unless we turn the texting back on. I won't be bullied so therefore she will sleep elsewhere I guess. She has no money and her gas tank will be empty soon so I suspect she will come home to harass us when that happens.</p><p></p><p>I too have an older daughter who is in college and doing super. We have no issues with her, but she has anxiety due to all the tumoil in our home.</p><p></p><p>I wish I had some advice but I don't think your son will agree to go to therapy. I would get a home drug test but then you will have to have a plan for what you will do if it comes up positive. I know the dark place you are in. You want him to finish high school and yet you can't live with the defiance. My difficult child was about your son's age when I counted the days til her 18th birthday and posted in on my calendar to give me hope. I love my difficult child very much but I just simply won't let her terrorize us any more than I have to. </p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 219244, member: 59"] Welcome dawnmyst and I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. I say that because I understand better than I can describe to you what it feels like to live with that fear and anxiety. I have a 17 yo difficult child and while we go through short spurts of calm, most of the time things are very rocky at home. We have 6 more months and than I can honestly say I believe she will be living on the street. We have been successful so far in keeping her off drugs and alcohol (although she has experimented with both and gotten into legal trouble). She is getting good grades in school this year finally but the toll it has taken on our lives is immeasurable. Her defiance is never far from the surface and just last night she was out all afternoon/evening, came home at 9:15 and left again until 1am because we had turned off her texting due to her lying about her whereabouts. Today she announced that she will not be coming home after work unless we turn the texting back on. I won't be bullied so therefore she will sleep elsewhere I guess. She has no money and her gas tank will be empty soon so I suspect she will come home to harass us when that happens. I too have an older daughter who is in college and doing super. We have no issues with her, but she has anxiety due to all the tumoil in our home. I wish I had some advice but I don't think your son will agree to go to therapy. I would get a home drug test but then you will have to have a plan for what you will do if it comes up positive. I know the dark place you are in. You want him to finish high school and yet you can't live with the defiance. My difficult child was about your son's age when I counted the days til her 18th birthday and posted in on my calendar to give me hope. I love my difficult child very much but I just simply won't let her terrorize us any more than I have to. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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