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<blockquote data-quote="SeaGenieTx" data-source="post: 675549" data-attributes="member: 18773"><p>ColleenB, welcome to a club none of us wanted to join. The SHOCK, yes.... it's the worst when the little sweet boy/girl you raised and loved has gone to the dark side of the drug world. Just know that it has NOTHING to do with your parenting. Our children have made these choices and most all of them were brought up in loving homes, by parents who were devoted and who did everything for their kids...</p><p></p><p>My advice is to read as much as you can on this forum. Read our stories and you will learn quickly what works and what doesn't work. Shock - we all went thru this and it sucks. Once you accept reality and see what you are dealing with you will go thru many emotions and plead, beg, want to fix, rescue, etc. Just read as much as you can so you can be prepared for the long road ahead.</p><p></p><p>I raised my 23 year old son alone as a single mom. He started doing and dealing drugs at age 20, has been arrested 3 times, and I had to kick him out. I kicked him out 2-3 times originally but always let him come back because I thought I could help him - it just made things worse. Finally kicked him out for good to let him figure out his life. Haven't heard from him in weeks but I can see on his Facebook page he is doing just fine. Living with someone and partying every night of the week, just having a grand ol time. Doesn't miss or care about his mother one iota - life is a party with no responsibilities and I'm the bad guy because I don't agree with his lifestyle and choices.</p><p></p><p>My advice? Watch out for the lies, lock up your valuables, establish boundaries quickly, if he can't obey your rules out he goes. I've learned and read that kicking them out is one of the best things you can do for them and to keep peace in your house. It's devastating and heartbreaking to do this but at the same time it's the most loving thing you can do. These kids just have no clue how the real world works until they are forced to be out in it. </p><p></p><p>We feel your pain and know exactly what you are going thru. Post on here as much as you need to. This forum is better than paying a therapist. The people on here are Saints!</p><p></p><p>Hang in there! It's tough especially with it being the holidays but we are here for ya!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeaGenieTx, post: 675549, member: 18773"] ColleenB, welcome to a club none of us wanted to join. The SHOCK, yes.... it's the worst when the little sweet boy/girl you raised and loved has gone to the dark side of the drug world. Just know that it has NOTHING to do with your parenting. Our children have made these choices and most all of them were brought up in loving homes, by parents who were devoted and who did everything for their kids... My advice is to read as much as you can on this forum. Read our stories and you will learn quickly what works and what doesn't work. Shock - we all went thru this and it sucks. Once you accept reality and see what you are dealing with you will go thru many emotions and plead, beg, want to fix, rescue, etc. Just read as much as you can so you can be prepared for the long road ahead. I raised my 23 year old son alone as a single mom. He started doing and dealing drugs at age 20, has been arrested 3 times, and I had to kick him out. I kicked him out 2-3 times originally but always let him come back because I thought I could help him - it just made things worse. Finally kicked him out for good to let him figure out his life. Haven't heard from him in weeks but I can see on his Facebook page he is doing just fine. Living with someone and partying every night of the week, just having a grand ol time. Doesn't miss or care about his mother one iota - life is a party with no responsibilities and I'm the bad guy because I don't agree with his lifestyle and choices. My advice? Watch out for the lies, lock up your valuables, establish boundaries quickly, if he can't obey your rules out he goes. I've learned and read that kicking them out is one of the best things you can do for them and to keep peace in your house. It's devastating and heartbreaking to do this but at the same time it's the most loving thing you can do. These kids just have no clue how the real world works until they are forced to be out in it. We feel your pain and know exactly what you are going thru. Post on here as much as you need to. This forum is better than paying a therapist. The people on here are Saints! Hang in there! It's tough especially with it being the holidays but we are here for ya! [/QUOTE]
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