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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 290064" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi Woody and welcome.</p><p> </p><p>First off, I think it sounds like you have come a long way as a parent. None of us get a manual with- our kids, and having a child with challenging behaviors really tests us. I was raised with- spanking and didn't give it a second thought... until I caught on that my difficult child couldn't care less. In the beginning of our darkest days with- our difficult child, a well-meaning friend gave me a "parenting" book that advocated the use of a wooden spoon rather than hand for spanking. What a phenomenally horrible idea that was. I think without question we have all made mistakes in our child raising. We all carry guilt over those mistakes. But I think what is far more important is that we have learned from those mistakes and became better parents (not perfect, but better) not only for our difficult children but also our pcs. </p><p> </p><p>It sounds like your little guy has been through the wringer, but it sounds like you're on the right track. I think therapy is important for the long term, as well as a full medical as well as psychiatric examination. We all bring our biases to the board and none of us has *the* answer, so take what you can use and ignore the rest. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> My personal bias, based on the acting out in school, would be wondering about a mood disorder (my son was the champion of desk-throwing in grades 1-???, LOL). With your ex's psychiatric history - I think it would be reasonable to have your son evaluated for a mood disorder. </p><p> </p><p>I would think that your son's situation is probably complicated by your ex's claims of abuse. I have no experience with- custody battles, but to my inexperienced eye it had to have had a negative effect on him. </p><p> </p><p>Aside from what you've already got going on for him, I think I would contact the school district (SD) to see about having a Special Education evaluation done. If you look in the sped 101 archives, you'll find some sample letters and info about sped. It sounds like he's already got a pretty well documented history of struggling in school behaviorally and I think the goal would be to set up as supportive environment as possible. Actually, you might just give the SD a head's up that he's struggled in his prior school setting but maybe hold off on formal evaluation until you see how he does, especially if he's settling in well at your home. But I wouldn't hesitate to request sped evaluation at the first hint of trouble in school - hindsight being 20/20, I think it is imperative that young children get the supports they need ASAP before school becomes one big battle. In my personal experience, that was a situation that we were never able to overcome with- my son. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway - welcome again and I'm so glad you found us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 290064, member: 8"] Hi Woody and welcome. First off, I think it sounds like you have come a long way as a parent. None of us get a manual with- our kids, and having a child with challenging behaviors really tests us. I was raised with- spanking and didn't give it a second thought... until I caught on that my difficult child couldn't care less. In the beginning of our darkest days with- our difficult child, a well-meaning friend gave me a "parenting" book that advocated the use of a wooden spoon rather than hand for spanking. What a phenomenally horrible idea that was. I think without question we have all made mistakes in our child raising. We all carry guilt over those mistakes. But I think what is far more important is that we have learned from those mistakes and became better parents (not perfect, but better) not only for our difficult children but also our pcs. It sounds like your little guy has been through the wringer, but it sounds like you're on the right track. I think therapy is important for the long term, as well as a full medical as well as psychiatric examination. We all bring our biases to the board and none of us has *the* answer, so take what you can use and ignore the rest. ;) My personal bias, based on the acting out in school, would be wondering about a mood disorder (my son was the champion of desk-throwing in grades 1-???, LOL). With your ex's psychiatric history - I think it would be reasonable to have your son evaluated for a mood disorder. I would think that your son's situation is probably complicated by your ex's claims of abuse. I have no experience with- custody battles, but to my inexperienced eye it had to have had a negative effect on him. Aside from what you've already got going on for him, I think I would contact the school district (SD) to see about having a Special Education evaluation done. If you look in the sped 101 archives, you'll find some sample letters and info about sped. It sounds like he's already got a pretty well documented history of struggling in school behaviorally and I think the goal would be to set up as supportive environment as possible. Actually, you might just give the SD a head's up that he's struggled in his prior school setting but maybe hold off on formal evaluation until you see how he does, especially if he's settling in well at your home. But I wouldn't hesitate to request sped evaluation at the first hint of trouble in school - hindsight being 20/20, I think it is imperative that young children get the supports they need ASAP before school becomes one big battle. In my personal experience, that was a situation that we were never able to overcome with- my son. Anyway - welcome again and I'm so glad you found us. [/QUOTE]
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