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Parent Emeritus
Newbie...desperate mom with 20 yo addict...court tomorrow
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 578210" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This boy is doing drugs, more than pot. Kick his butt out the door, take the cell phone, don't pay for anything. My daughter was on drugs and we had to kick her out...it helped her turn her life around!! She is CLEAN now and went back to school on her dime.</p><p></p><p>Do not bail him out when he gets into legal trouble. Most of all, take care of YOU. Go an Al-Anon meeting to get face-to-face support and help and to listen to others in the same boat. You don't have to speak at all, just listen. They are kind there. They understand. Get a therapist to help you realize that you can not make your son a responsible citizen, BUT HE CAN. It's his choice not to do so and right now you're making it cushy good for him. Don't. Make it hard and miserable. Don't enable him while he self-destructs.</p><p></p><p>Do not blame his girlfriends. He picks them because he is toxic himself right now. He needs to clear his head and change his mindset, but nobody can decide for him to do that but him. If you can get him to willingly and eagerly go into a rehab t hat would be great, but unless he really wants to go, it won't help him.</p><p></p><p>Been there, done it, have the tee-shirt, cried the tears, learned to let go...daughter and I are best friends now. It can happen.</p><p></p><p>Don't enable him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 578210, member: 1550"] This boy is doing drugs, more than pot. Kick his butt out the door, take the cell phone, don't pay for anything. My daughter was on drugs and we had to kick her out...it helped her turn her life around!! She is CLEAN now and went back to school on her dime. Do not bail him out when he gets into legal trouble. Most of all, take care of YOU. Go an Al-Anon meeting to get face-to-face support and help and to listen to others in the same boat. You don't have to speak at all, just listen. They are kind there. They understand. Get a therapist to help you realize that you can not make your son a responsible citizen, BUT HE CAN. It's his choice not to do so and right now you're making it cushy good for him. Don't. Make it hard and miserable. Don't enable him while he self-destructs. Do not blame his girlfriends. He picks them because he is toxic himself right now. He needs to clear his head and change his mindset, but nobody can decide for him to do that but him. If you can get him to willingly and eagerly go into a rehab t hat would be great, but unless he really wants to go, it won't help him. Been there, done it, have the tee-shirt, cried the tears, learned to let go...daughter and I are best friends now. It can happen. Don't enable him. [/QUOTE]
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Newbie...desperate mom with 20 yo addict...court tomorrow
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