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Newbie...desperate mom with 20 yo addict...court tomorrow
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<blockquote data-quote="Siobhan Harper" data-source="post: 578265" data-attributes="member: 15902"><p>Oh my dear, I'm so sorry for all you're going through. No heartache in the world like it, no exhaustion equal to it. But as you're finding out here, you aren't by yourself.</p><p></p><p>Hard as it is, I have to agree with the other posters who have said to get him out of your house NOW! You are in very real danger. The court hearing may well be a blessing, especially if he goes to the treatment center. It may work or it may not, but it provides a safe place for him and keeps you out of harm's way. If he does end up in jail, he will find out, firsthand, the consequences of his actions, and they won't be pretty or fun or cool. They'll be awful. But he may be one of those kids who has to experience the worst before he is willing to turn his life around. I'll be praying for you both tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>Keep one thing in mind: you are not responsible for difficult child's decisions and circumstances. You have tried and are continuing to try to get help for him. It's not your fault that he is not accepting it. Do try to take the advice of other posters and start attending Al-Anon, NAMI (google it) meetings, or any other parental/family support group. You need all the support you can get right now. My husband and I had almost none, and our lives were a living hell when difficult child was a teenager. We've also learned some detachment skills and sought therapy ourselves to cope with the feelings of failure, hopelessness, etc. Take care of you, and keep us posted here.</p><p></p><p>Peace,</p><p>Siobhan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Siobhan Harper, post: 578265, member: 15902"] Oh my dear, I'm so sorry for all you're going through. No heartache in the world like it, no exhaustion equal to it. But as you're finding out here, you aren't by yourself. Hard as it is, I have to agree with the other posters who have said to get him out of your house NOW! You are in very real danger. The court hearing may well be a blessing, especially if he goes to the treatment center. It may work or it may not, but it provides a safe place for him and keeps you out of harm's way. If he does end up in jail, he will find out, firsthand, the consequences of his actions, and they won't be pretty or fun or cool. They'll be awful. But he may be one of those kids who has to experience the worst before he is willing to turn his life around. I'll be praying for you both tomorrow. Keep one thing in mind: you are not responsible for difficult child's decisions and circumstances. You have tried and are continuing to try to get help for him. It's not your fault that he is not accepting it. Do try to take the advice of other posters and start attending Al-Anon, NAMI (google it) meetings, or any other parental/family support group. You need all the support you can get right now. My husband and I had almost none, and our lives were a living hell when difficult child was a teenager. We've also learned some detachment skills and sought therapy ourselves to cope with the feelings of failure, hopelessness, etc. Take care of you, and keep us posted here. Peace, Siobhan [/QUOTE]
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