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Newbie! Help need advice!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 388003" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Welcome to the board. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>If you haven't read The Defiant Child by Ross Greene you might want to. Many parents here have found it very helpful. And I believe he has other books out as well.</p><p></p><p>ODD is not a real diagnosis........it is more like labeling a bunch of symptoms. You might want to look into neuropsychological testing for a better idea of what may be going on with your son. </p><p></p><p>Consistency is key with difficult children. Clear rules. Clear punishments (that don't change) for breaking rules. With lots of love and praise when warranted to balance it out. Natural consequences also can work wonders and I used them as much as possible as it reduced the amount of times I was the bad guy. School issues stayed at school. (homework ect.....school punishments are great) It reduced too the amount of correcting behavior I had to do which reduced the tension in the house.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't help that his dad wants to be the fun guy simply because he no longer has to be a full time parent. And it stinks he can't be on the same page as much of this behavior might vanish if he was, it certainly is not helping.</p><p></p><p>Saying he wants to live with dad and dad is fun and all that junk is pretty typical of a kid trying to bully to get his own way. Don't let it get to you. I know it isn't easy, but the kid is suffering from the grass is greener syndrome. Keeping that in mind may help to keep his behavior in perspective. I am wondering if he thinks he's bad enough you'll send him to his dad's.</p><p></p><p>Tie a knot in your rope and hold on. You're not alone anymore and you've landed in a great place full of parents who care and who understand.</p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 388003, member: 84"] Welcome to the board. :happy: If you haven't read The Defiant Child by Ross Greene you might want to. Many parents here have found it very helpful. And I believe he has other books out as well. ODD is not a real diagnosis........it is more like labeling a bunch of symptoms. You might want to look into neuropsychological testing for a better idea of what may be going on with your son. Consistency is key with difficult children. Clear rules. Clear punishments (that don't change) for breaking rules. With lots of love and praise when warranted to balance it out. Natural consequences also can work wonders and I used them as much as possible as it reduced the amount of times I was the bad guy. School issues stayed at school. (homework ect.....school punishments are great) It reduced too the amount of correcting behavior I had to do which reduced the tension in the house. It doesn't help that his dad wants to be the fun guy simply because he no longer has to be a full time parent. And it stinks he can't be on the same page as much of this behavior might vanish if he was, it certainly is not helping. Saying he wants to live with dad and dad is fun and all that junk is pretty typical of a kid trying to bully to get his own way. Don't let it get to you. I know it isn't easy, but the kid is suffering from the grass is greener syndrome. Keeping that in mind may help to keep his behavior in perspective. I am wondering if he thinks he's bad enough you'll send him to his dad's. Tie a knot in your rope and hold on. You're not alone anymore and you've landed in a great place full of parents who care and who understand. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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