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newbie learning to deal with ODD...help!
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<blockquote data-quote="gateship" data-source="post: 180823" data-attributes="member: 5679"><p>Thanks all for responding. I will go check out that book! Been reading "Adopting the hurt child"- which has been helpful to some degree.</p><p> OK so here are a few answers to your questions:</p><p>-yes she has started her period- apparently has had it for over 2 years now. Behaviors always get worst as she gets closer to her time of the month- it doesn't help that the 3 women in the house all get it at the same time now!</p><p>-yes she is happy SOME of the time- not a lot but some.</p><p>-Yes, she is usually over the top happy but to give her credit she does have times when you can tell she is truly enjoying herself and happy. Those happy times last half an hour at most but they are lovely while they last.</p><p>-she came from a disrupted adoption before that TFC (treatment foster care)- so yes we do realize that she is in a world of hurt, confusion, anger, and scared. The ODD behaviors started several years ago though so while i am sure that they are amped up because of the situation they didn't suddenly appear because of it.</p><p>-I'm 23 still living at home, because of finances and because my mom is my best friend and this adoption/fostering thing is just as important to me as it is my parents.</p><p>-I have tried the 'special' time idea but unfortunately she cannot/will not entertain her self at all so 'special' time becomes all the time. Mom and I have to take turns or we go crazy. She has no concept of boundaries, we have been trying to teach her but it is SLOW going!</p><p>Today she watched several episodes of a tv show without getting up more than 20 times (a little dance was done at this success!) However, I will continue to try it and see if maybe it will end up working...one can only hope<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>-Yes, I am sure she does not trust us and is dealing with all of the stress of this situation- new people, home, possibly school, possible adoptive families (the agency has been looking for her), the loss of her last adoptive family foster family and bio family. I am not saying that she has any reason to trust us because if i were in her shoes I would be totally screwed up too! It just does not make it easy for us dealing with the constant arguing, negativism, tantrums, mood swings, depression, anger, resentment (on our part as well as hers).</p><p>So I guess my next question is to you ladies/gents who have had to deal with arguments several times an hour- what did/do you do to keep your sanity? </p><p>Thanks again to everyone for your advice and support!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gateship, post: 180823, member: 5679"] Thanks all for responding. I will go check out that book! Been reading "Adopting the hurt child"- which has been helpful to some degree. OK so here are a few answers to your questions: -yes she has started her period- apparently has had it for over 2 years now. Behaviors always get worst as she gets closer to her time of the month- it doesn't help that the 3 women in the house all get it at the same time now! -yes she is happy SOME of the time- not a lot but some. -Yes, she is usually over the top happy but to give her credit she does have times when you can tell she is truly enjoying herself and happy. Those happy times last half an hour at most but they are lovely while they last. -she came from a disrupted adoption before that TFC (treatment foster care)- so yes we do realize that she is in a world of hurt, confusion, anger, and scared. The ODD behaviors started several years ago though so while i am sure that they are amped up because of the situation they didn't suddenly appear because of it. -I'm 23 still living at home, because of finances and because my mom is my best friend and this adoption/fostering thing is just as important to me as it is my parents. -I have tried the 'special' time idea but unfortunately she cannot/will not entertain her self at all so 'special' time becomes all the time. Mom and I have to take turns or we go crazy. She has no concept of boundaries, we have been trying to teach her but it is SLOW going! Today she watched several episodes of a tv show without getting up more than 20 times (a little dance was done at this success!) However, I will continue to try it and see if maybe it will end up working...one can only hope:) -Yes, I am sure she does not trust us and is dealing with all of the stress of this situation- new people, home, possibly school, possible adoptive families (the agency has been looking for her), the loss of her last adoptive family foster family and bio family. I am not saying that she has any reason to trust us because if i were in her shoes I would be totally screwed up too! It just does not make it easy for us dealing with the constant arguing, negativism, tantrums, mood swings, depression, anger, resentment (on our part as well as hers). So I guess my next question is to you ladies/gents who have had to deal with arguments several times an hour- what did/do you do to keep your sanity? Thanks again to everyone for your advice and support!!! [/QUOTE]
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