I've been respectfully lurking for a few days and you seem like a knowledgeable, compassionate group and I've joined so I can learn from you, as well as share any bits of information I pick up that may be of use (you know, those grains of salt). I've been an adapted physical education teacher for 12 years, working with mostly moderate/severe students in a very good k-8 school district in Silicon Valley. I feel like know lots of stuff, but I'm feeling stressed, worried, sad, helpless, frustrated, and just plain scared about my five year old grandson. He's always been an intense little dude, but happy, sleeps and eats well, hit all his milestones at or ahead. Normal pregnancy but protracted and difficult labor. Suctioned out with lots of swelling on his very large head (he was nearly 9 pounds, daughter's first of two children). Fairly severe jaundice, but nursed well from the start and was released from hospital with mommy and no problems after that. Is missing one testicle (had surgery to try and locate and simply not there). He healed quickly and has had no ear infections, although he has recently developed asthma that begins with a cold, then slowly resolves over a couple of weeks, just like his mommy has. He's been pretty much a pre-school dropout due to behavior problems. The schools recommended various observations, and he always "showed" good. But, we saw problems: defiance, hitting, explosions at transitions, just always feel like we're walking on eggshells. He started kindergarten in August (he's 5y4m) so he's young. He's in a class with 25kids, half kinders, half first graders. One teacher, no other adult support in the classroom. Academically, he's at or above in all areas, except for drawing and scissor use. He knows all his letters, numbers, and can write them all. Excellent number concepts. He's dexterous in taking things apart and putting them back together, but pretty immature at cutting, coloring, drawing. He had no preschool basically, so that may be part of it. Low tolerance for trying new things, although he rides a two-wheeler, inline skates, uses scooter, all very skillfully. He reads first and second grade level books to his neurotypical three year old sister, can articulate his feelings quite well, can identify how others are feeling. I see some sensory stuff, but mild. BUT he stomps on people, hits with his fists, will throw anything, has dinged up our cars by throwing rocks and scratching with toys, will terrorize his sister or anybody, regardless of size. He will hit, spit, and kick adults, including teachers. Grandpa, mom and dad (divorced but very civil...true team in raising the kids) get the worst of it, I seem to get it less. I've got that teacher withitness, I guess, plus a goofy sense of humor. But, when he starts to explode....look out. He also started pooping his pants at home (perhaps for of five times in a ten day period). That seems to have stopped for now. We didn't get mad, just acted all business in cleaning him up. Don't know what that was about. He's been to therapeutic play groups and he does very well. But, he's been suspended 8 times for hitting and throwing and non-compliance. He's only in school 90 minutes a day, and grandpa watches him during recess, then he goes home. The school will not let him stay longer. He's been observed by the Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) (doesn't qualify), school psychiatric (too high academically and is making progress in spite of his limited access), and behavioral specialist. All sweet, well-meaning people operating in a crappy, dysfunctional school district (not the one where I work. I commute 40 miles each way). The teacher turned us onto The Explosive Child and that could be written about our little boy. So what does the behavioral specialist come up with for a plan? Sticker charts. Yeah. He is attention seeking, desperately wants friends, is friendly, makes eye-contact, is affectionate to family, but the kids at school are afraid of him; rightfully so. He's helpful, generous, sweet, then something comes over him and he hits, writes on or tears up the other kids' papers. Impulsive big time. Sometimes we see it coming, but often it just strikes in the middle of what looks like a very calm, nice moment. So, he's just started Concerta 6 days ago but dose is being adjusted upward tomorrow. So far, no change in behavior, but we know it's a process. I hate the idea of putting these drugs into his little body...it kills me to see his hands shaking, and his appetite is starting to be affected. But, I feel like he's being harmed either way at this point. We've been pushing the school to provide some assistance in getting him to be able to stay in school for the full day (8:30-12:10). All of the science and hands-on learning takes place after recess and he's not there because they won't let him. No FAPE or least restrictive environment taking place in my opinion. Last week, another parent called my grandson's daddy and basically threatened him. Nice. So, the school decided perhaps an emergency 504 meeting was in order and that happens on Monday. Wish us luck. So, sorry for the wall of text, but I thought if you had a fuller picture, you may be able to drop your wisdom on us. I'm looking forward to getting to know you and your families, commiserate during the hard times, and rejoice in the good.