Newbie with a difficult child with ODD- OM Gosh

[MTcrews]

Not sure what our next steps should be.
Megan is 14.5, in June 2011 found out after being in a ward for 7 days that she is OOD & Bipolar not otherwise specified & Depression.

Things started last summer, not sure what made it start. But since Jan 2011 she has been raising cane, tearing and breaking things, fighting physically & verbally, cussing, self destructive, tried to take her life, cutting, running away,
but thank goodness, no drugs. She says that she drinks a beer every now & then.

We have really layed the law down about what our expectations are and the rules for the house. Which were no different for her older sister ( college in MN ) & brother (Army Active Duty- Korea).
But for her, it is her way or no way, And she runs away. We have contacted the police each time. Taken her room done to the bare bones, cut her phone off no tv,games,friends, etc.. nothing seems to get her attention.
Megan is on medications and has a great counselor, she even likes her, that does not mean she likes going. Wee see the doctor as a family and Megan on a 1 on 1.

It seems to be the same story I am hearing about other teens, not wanting to live at home, hating their parents (rents), etc...

What has gotten worse is the running away & she has not had her medications in 4 days. She will not take them unless we give her someting first. Like her phone and let her go out. And yesterday she had another episode with fighting,cussing breaking things. She changes like turning on & off a light switch.
Do we put her back in the ward (she calls it upstairs)?
My husband & i are confused, lost, not sure and so tired.

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.

 

[TeDo]

It doesn't sound like she is "stable" enough to be home. I would immediately stop "bribing" her to take her medications. She has found a creative way to get what she wants and it's working. I, personally, would put a halt to that. Keep calling the police when she runs away. If she destroys things, throws things, threatens you in any way, call the police because you "don't feel safe". I would definitely take her back but if she seems to like it there, I would find a different placement. Was she like this before the risperdal? My son had a VERY negative reaction to risperdal, it made him psychotic and what you've described as far as the "tantrums" remind me so much of what he was like on it. It could be (probably is) she's not on the right medications. She may like the therapist but my question is "Is it working? Are things improving since therapy began?" If not, I would look for a new one.

There is no reason you should have to live like this. It is not fair to you or to her (she's learning how to get around the rules). What consequences do you impose when she returns home? I would up the ante EVERY time she runs away. This time it's 1 week. Next time 2 weeks. Etc.

{{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you. These are just some of my thoughts. Others will be along to offer some suggestions. You have found a great place with a WEALTH of knowledgeable parents who have been there done that. Welcome to our little corner of the world but so very sorry you had to find us.