Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Newbie with ODD child
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 295287" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Hi Bewildered. Welcome. Here's some iced tea with magical calming qualities. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>Your daughter sounds like my son. He does not like to transition, and hates homework. And used to kick and hit and bite. And spit.</p><p> </p><p>I would make an appointment with-a neuropsychologist and have lots of testing done, especially since you've already noticed that she needs help with-math and reading. When my son was in 3rd gr, he tested 3 yrs ahead in oral verbal skills, and kindergarten level in math. Clearly, a huge gap in his abililties, but not an overall gap. It indicated that parts of his brain were very well developed, and parts were way behind. We had to find a way to tap into the undeveloped and underdeveloped parts. He was and is lacking in social skills and clues, such as why he should say Please and Thank you, and why it bothers people that he kicks them. He was truly clueless. He thought he had a right. </p><p> </p><p>We did neurofeedback, and it didn't hurt, but it didn't help much, either. Adderall helped more. And getting him off wheat/gluten helped a lot. He was more pleasant and less hyper.</p><p> </p><p>We held our son back one yr in 3rd gr and it helped immensely. Instead of struggling and being angry all the time, he sailed through the yr. </p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, he is slipping again, and we are moving him to a new school for 6th gr.</p><p> </p><p>It sounds like your daughter learns differently. Try having her touch things for math. Like blocks, coins, etc. My son has memorized fractions about 6 times and for some reason, every 6 mo, forgets it all. He does very well with-pie pcs, such as cutouts from paper. </p><p>Just talking to your daughter and instructing her in the traditional sense is going to set her off. All she hears is blah, blah, blah but instead of being boring, it is making her mad. Try to keep your voice well modulated and your words to a minimum, and your/her physical participation higher.</p><p> </p><p>We have had to strip my son's room of everything except a mattress because he has been so belligerant and violent. He has earned things back.</p><p>Problem is, I assumed he would want to earn back sheets and blankets. Nope. He wanted his Yu-gi-oh cards and his action figures and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. He'd be happy with-his toys and video games in a jail cell. (It may well come to that, LOL!)</p><p>He doesn't think like we do.</p><p>Your daughter doesn't think like you do. Figure out how she thinks. Earning time at the end of the day for fun is too long of a time period, too far away. She's got an "I want it now" mentality. Break her chores/homework into chunks of time, say, 15 min, then give her a small reward, operative word being "small" so she doesn't get distracted. Go back and forth. Takes more time, but then, don't her tantrums take time? She could do something she likes, say, color a page in a coloring book, or eat a fruit snack. NO TV or video games during the breaks. They activate the frontal lobes with-useless electrical activity.</p><p> </p><p>by the way, the "I want it now" mentality is something that took me yrs to figure out. I thought it was a temperament flaw, and in a way, it is. But mostly it's like a short circuit in the brain and these kids can't figure out long term consequences.</p><p>They will, eventually. It takes yrs of counseling, sometimes medications, and patience.</p><p> </p><p>Others here will jump in and offer more ideas.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 295287, member: 3419"] Hi Bewildered. Welcome. Here's some iced tea with magical calming qualities. :) Your daughter sounds like my son. He does not like to transition, and hates homework. And used to kick and hit and bite. And spit. I would make an appointment with-a neuropsychologist and have lots of testing done, especially since you've already noticed that she needs help with-math and reading. When my son was in 3rd gr, he tested 3 yrs ahead in oral verbal skills, and kindergarten level in math. Clearly, a huge gap in his abililties, but not an overall gap. It indicated that parts of his brain were very well developed, and parts were way behind. We had to find a way to tap into the undeveloped and underdeveloped parts. He was and is lacking in social skills and clues, such as why he should say Please and Thank you, and why it bothers people that he kicks them. He was truly clueless. He thought he had a right. We did neurofeedback, and it didn't hurt, but it didn't help much, either. Adderall helped more. And getting him off wheat/gluten helped a lot. He was more pleasant and less hyper. We held our son back one yr in 3rd gr and it helped immensely. Instead of struggling and being angry all the time, he sailed through the yr. Unfortunately, he is slipping again, and we are moving him to a new school for 6th gr. It sounds like your daughter learns differently. Try having her touch things for math. Like blocks, coins, etc. My son has memorized fractions about 6 times and for some reason, every 6 mo, forgets it all. He does very well with-pie pcs, such as cutouts from paper. Just talking to your daughter and instructing her in the traditional sense is going to set her off. All she hears is blah, blah, blah but instead of being boring, it is making her mad. Try to keep your voice well modulated and your words to a minimum, and your/her physical participation higher. We have had to strip my son's room of everything except a mattress because he has been so belligerant and violent. He has earned things back. Problem is, I assumed he would want to earn back sheets and blankets. Nope. He wanted his Yu-gi-oh cards and his action figures and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. He'd be happy with-his toys and video games in a jail cell. (It may well come to that, LOL!) He doesn't think like we do. Your daughter doesn't think like you do. Figure out how she thinks. Earning time at the end of the day for fun is too long of a time period, too far away. She's got an "I want it now" mentality. Break her chores/homework into chunks of time, say, 15 min, then give her a small reward, operative word being "small" so she doesn't get distracted. Go back and forth. Takes more time, but then, don't her tantrums take time? She could do something she likes, say, color a page in a coloring book, or eat a fruit snack. NO TV or video games during the breaks. They activate the frontal lobes with-useless electrical activity. by the way, the "I want it now" mentality is something that took me yrs to figure out. I thought it was a temperament flaw, and in a way, it is. But mostly it's like a short circuit in the brain and these kids can't figure out long term consequences. They will, eventually. It takes yrs of counseling, sometimes medications, and patience. Others here will jump in and offer more ideas. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Newbie with ODD child
Top