My wife and I have been married for 13 years. We have two children a boy (8) and a girl (5). Our son-as much as we love him-has been a challenge from day one. He had cholic, chronic ear infections, is painfully shy and withdrawn, and has always been an unhappy child. Nothing seems to excite him or make him happy. Birthday parties and Christmas mornings are met with "lukewarm" responses. His favorite thing to say upon receiving a gift or compliment is "yeah, ok".
That, however, is not the main issue. In the first grade we started noticing that he was not doing well with school work at all. His teacher requested conferences with us, which we attended. She told us that he was having trouble focusing and that he would not answer questions when called upon. We took him to the peds. office and, after much discussion, determined that he should be perscribed Metadate for ADD. The difference was almost immediate and very encouraging. His grades improved and he went on to make honor roll! However, we noticed that he became very irratable and withdrawn in the afternoons. I would pick him up from school and he would say "Where are you taking me?" I would answer him and he would say NOTHING else to me no matter what I would say. He would scream and hit his sister and ignore his mother that evening at home (I work evenings often, so she would be alone with him) when she tried to speak to him.
Feeling it must be the medicine, we spoke to the pediatrician again. He change him to Vyvanse and the situation remains unchanged...except for the fact his grades have slipped. It's the end of the year and his teacher has told us he will pass his grade...barely. I'm scared to death for him to start the 3rd grade due to the fact that end-of-grade testing will begin and he does terribly with tests.
My main concern is-with or without the medicine-(I know I'm all over the place here, sorry) he doesn't want to "do" anything. He refuses to get involved in activities (baseball, scouts, afterschool groups) because "those people are stupid". Everybody is "mean", when they clearly are not (we've asked the teacher, other students, and monitored it closely...it just isn't happening), he has "no friends" according to him, even though we see countless kids in town that run up to him and want to play, talk to him,. We have asked the teacher how he gets along at school and she says he plays fine at school and has plenty of kids who want to play with him. I just don't understand. He has also taken to saying things like "I hate myself" which KILLS ME and has brought me to tears on more than one occasion. I almost think he says these things because it gets such a reaction out of me.
I guess what I'm asking is: Is there anyone else out there like me? I don't know if there is a problem or not. He is a very loving affectionate child when he wants to be, but can be so aggressive and hateful at the drop of a hat. He also is EXTRMEMELY fearful of bad weather, almost to the point of anxiety attack "like" behavior. Don't know where in the world that one came from.
My wife and I have attempted to provide a very stable, value oriented home for our children. Both of my kids were born into the home we now have. They are told several times a day that they are loved. We enforce rules that include sharing, respect for others, and honesty and we try to expose the kids to as much as we can (i.e. vacations, educational opportunities, visits to musems, beach, mountains etc.)
We're at our wit's end with our son. Our daughter is very outgoing and loving. She has "never met a stranger" and is always wanting to be involved with other people. I just don't know where to go with him from this point!
That, however, is not the main issue. In the first grade we started noticing that he was not doing well with school work at all. His teacher requested conferences with us, which we attended. She told us that he was having trouble focusing and that he would not answer questions when called upon. We took him to the peds. office and, after much discussion, determined that he should be perscribed Metadate for ADD. The difference was almost immediate and very encouraging. His grades improved and he went on to make honor roll! However, we noticed that he became very irratable and withdrawn in the afternoons. I would pick him up from school and he would say "Where are you taking me?" I would answer him and he would say NOTHING else to me no matter what I would say. He would scream and hit his sister and ignore his mother that evening at home (I work evenings often, so she would be alone with him) when she tried to speak to him.
Feeling it must be the medicine, we spoke to the pediatrician again. He change him to Vyvanse and the situation remains unchanged...except for the fact his grades have slipped. It's the end of the year and his teacher has told us he will pass his grade...barely. I'm scared to death for him to start the 3rd grade due to the fact that end-of-grade testing will begin and he does terribly with tests.
My main concern is-with or without the medicine-(I know I'm all over the place here, sorry) he doesn't want to "do" anything. He refuses to get involved in activities (baseball, scouts, afterschool groups) because "those people are stupid". Everybody is "mean", when they clearly are not (we've asked the teacher, other students, and monitored it closely...it just isn't happening), he has "no friends" according to him, even though we see countless kids in town that run up to him and want to play, talk to him,. We have asked the teacher how he gets along at school and she says he plays fine at school and has plenty of kids who want to play with him. I just don't understand. He has also taken to saying things like "I hate myself" which KILLS ME and has brought me to tears on more than one occasion. I almost think he says these things because it gets such a reaction out of me.
I guess what I'm asking is: Is there anyone else out there like me? I don't know if there is a problem or not. He is a very loving affectionate child when he wants to be, but can be so aggressive and hateful at the drop of a hat. He also is EXTRMEMELY fearful of bad weather, almost to the point of anxiety attack "like" behavior. Don't know where in the world that one came from.
My wife and I have attempted to provide a very stable, value oriented home for our children. Both of my kids were born into the home we now have. They are told several times a day that they are loved. We enforce rules that include sharing, respect for others, and honesty and we try to expose the kids to as much as we can (i.e. vacations, educational opportunities, visits to musems, beach, mountains etc.)
We're at our wit's end with our son. Our daughter is very outgoing and loving. She has "never met a stranger" and is always wanting to be involved with other people. I just don't know where to go with him from this point!
